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  • Movie starts with the 2020 Sony Wonder, Sesame Workshop and WGBH logos]
  • [the titles read "PBS Kids Presents," "A Sesame Workshop Production," and "in association with WGBH"]
  • [Seagulls flying across the sky while the screen pans and the open credits start. We then see a pirate on a look-out post. He moves upwards to get a better look at something with his telescope. The screen then shows the view in the telescope of a pirate on a dinghy]
  • Pirate on the Dinghy: [with a trunk] I got it! I got it! I got it!
  • Look-out Post Pirate: [Squints] Dinghy ahoy. [He then looks down to tell someone something] Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow!
  • One Pirate: Dinghy off the port bow! 
  • Pirates: [off-screen] Dinghy off the port bow!
  • Other Pirate: Yogi, dinghy off the... [He is slammed in the face by a door as the captain walks on deck]
  • Yogi Bear: Dinghy. [Lets the pirate in the dinghy onto the ship, along with the trunk]
  • Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: I got it! I got it.
  • Yogi Bear: Where is it?
  • Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: It's right here, yogi.
  • Yogi Bear: [Opens the trunk] I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. Tickets to The Big Bird's Movie! [The pirates cheer and they sail to the movie theater, singing the BigBob BirdPants Theme Song]
  • Pirates: ♪Who lives in a house under Sesame Street? BigBob BirdPants. Absorbent and Yellow and porous is he? BigBob BirdPants. If nautical nonsense be something you wish? BigBob BirdPants. Then drop on the deck and flop like a Bird? BigBob BirdPants. BigBob BirdPants. BigBob BirdPants. Big-Bob Bird-Pants. BigBob BirdPants. Big-Bob Bird-Pants. BigBob BirdPants. BigBob BirdPants. BigBob BirdPants. BigBob BirdPants. Big-Bob Bird-Pants!♪ [The pirates hog the snack bar and get some popcorn. They rush into the theater room, where the movie starts]
  • French Narrator: [We start out on the Familer earth in space.] Ah, the earth. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... uhh... wet. [The camera submerges inside the earth until it stops in front of Jack's Restaurant.] Our story begins in the neighborhood eatery, Jack's Restaurant, where...
  • [The camera pans down into earth in front of Jack’s Restaurant]
  • Sid the Science Kid: Back off!! Back off! [waves arms to back off at reporters/citizens]
  • French Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?
  • [The screen pans out to show Jack's Restaurant is surrounded by cops.]
  • Jack: Please settle down. [Referring to Jack's Restaurant] We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss 'till me manager gets here.
  • Dot: [off-screen] Look, there he is.
  • [A black boat with orange flames drives up; Big Bird's leg, wearing a black boot with an orange snake on it in the shape of an "BB", steps out of the vehicle when it is stopped, Big Bird climbs out of the limousine. He walks toward Jack's Restaurant and blows a bubble]
  • Big Bird: Talk to me, Jack.
  • Jack: Oh. It started out as a simple order: Krabby patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no Cheese! [he cries, but Big Bird slaps him]
  • Big Bird: Get a hold of yourself, Jack. I'm going in. [Big Bird walks in and sees a character, extremely nervous, looking at him krabby patty.] Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. [he puts a briefcase down on a table.] Everything's gonna be just fine.
  • Brain: I'm really scared here, sir.
  • Big Bird: [Opens the briefcase.] You got a name?
  • Brain: [Nervously] Brain.
  • Big Bird: [Puts on gloves.] You got a family, Brain? [Brain chokes over her words, unable to speak.  Big Bird snaps.] Come on, Brain, Stay with me. Let's hear about the family.
  • Brain: I got a wife and two beautiful children.
  • Big Bird: [Puts on a headset from the briefcase.] That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Brain.
  • Brain: What?
  • Big Bird: [Big Bird picks a cup of Cheese out from her briefcase with some tweezers.] Say "Cheese." [Big Bird dramatically and slowly attempts to put the Cheese on the Burger. He then kicks the door open, Brain in his arms. The crowd gasps. The cheese on the burger cheese.] Order up.
  • All (but Big Bird)[Cheer and then lift Big Bird up on their shoulders.] Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! [Honk!] Hip! Hip! [Honk!] Hip! Hip! [Honk!]
  • Big Bird: Hooray! Ant! I had that dream again! And it's finally going to come true! [he runs over to her calendar.] Today! Sorry about this calendar. [he tears off the calendar page for the day before to reveal "March 7." On the page, it has a picture of Jack's Restaurant 2 with rainbows and hearts around it.] Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for Big Bird's Restaurant 2, where Big Bird will announce the new manager.
  • [Ant smiles]
  • Big Bird: Who's it gonna be, Ant? Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards. [Camera pulls up, revealing many "employee of the month" portraits]
  • Big Bird E.O.T.M. Awards: BigBob BirdPants!
  • Big Bird: I'm ready. Promotion. [Goes into the walk-in shower, eats soap, inserts a hose in her head, and puffs up until soap comes out. Big Bird then pulls out paper-like fabric, which he folds into her dress. The back springs off, revealing his rear, which he covers up. he blushes and walks offscreen sideways. Then he brushes her eyes with toothpaste and wipes off the foam] Cleanliness is next to manager-lines. [Goes outside and runs around in circles] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.
  • [The scene is zooming to Matt's house, and then cuts to Matt in his bathroom]
  • Matt: (Singing) La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da dee, la da doo, la da dum.
  • Matt & Big Bird: [In unision] (Singing) La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da d...
  • Matt: Huh?
  • Big Bird: (Singing) ...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...
  • Matt: [interrupts her, and covers himself] Big Bird! What are you doing in here?
  • Big Bird: I have to tell you something, Matt.
  • Matt: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?
  • Big Bird: here's no shower at work.
  • Matt: What do you want?
  • Big Bird: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
  • Matt: Get out! [kicks him out the window]
  • Big Bird: Okay. I'll see you at the ceremony. [Runs into Woody, who comes out of his house]
  • Woody: That sounds like the manager of Big Bird's new restaurant 2. [notices he doesn't have his pants on] Oops. Hold on. [Door closes, with Woody next to it. Then it opens again with Woody wearing our Pants] Congradulations, buddy.
    Big Bird: Oh, thanks, Woody. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're green.
  • Woody: Oh, I love being green!
  • Big Bird: We're going to the place where all the action is.
  • Woody: You don't mean...?
  • Big Bird: Oh, I mean.
  • Big Bird and Woody: Clifford's Ice Cream Party Boat!
  • [Door closes up, and opens up a few seconds later. They now have Clifford hats on, and a record begins playing on a record player beside Woody]
  • Big Bird and Woody: (Singing) Oh, I'm a Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. You're a Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. We're all Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. Clifford the Big, Red, Dog, yeah!
  • Big Bird: [Notices his watch] I'd better get going. I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.
  • Woody: Good luck, Big Bird. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. (Singing) I'm a Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. [Bounces away]
  • [The scene cuts to a large crowd gathered in front of Jack's Restaurant. Dash is on TV, reporting]
  • Dash: Hello, Earth! Dash here, coming to you live from in front of Jack's Restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering Krabby Patty. Until today, that is. That's right, folks. Longtime owner Jack is opening a new restaurant called Jack's Restaurant 2! [The crowd applauds] First of all, congradulations, Jack. [Jack has a big grin on his face]
  • Jack: Hello. I like money.
  • Dash: What inspired you to build a second restaurant right next door to the original?
  • Jack: Money. [Everyone laughs]
  • [Zeebad is watching the entire scenario out the window of Zeebad's house]
  • Zeebad: Curses! It's not fair. Jack is being interviewed by Dash, and I've never even had one customer! [the word "customer" is heard echoing in the kitchen. Zeebad groans and moans while sweating]
  • Evil Wendy: Don't get worked up again, Zeebad, I just mopped the floors.
  • Zeebad: Oh, Evil Wendy, my human wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret of Jack's success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y.
  • Evil Wendy: A to Y?
  • Zeebad: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
  • Evil Wendy: What about Z?
  • Zeebad: Z?
  • Evil Wendy: Z. The letter after Y.
  • Zeebad: [Searches through cabinet] W, X, Y, Z. [Grabs Plan Z] Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
  • Evil Wendy: Oh, boy.
  • Zeebad: [Looks at Plan Z] Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. [Sniffs it] It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail! [Goes outside] So enjoy today, Jack, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at my house, and I will rule the world! All hail Zeebad. All hail Zeeb...! [Big Bird runs by and unknowingly squashes him] Ow!
  • Big Bird: I'm ready, promotion... I'm ready, promotion...
  • Zeebad: [While being stepped on by Big Bird] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
  • Big Bird: Eww, I think I stepped in something. [Tries to scrape Zeebad off. Zeebad yelps when Big Bird tries to scrape him off]
  • Zeebad: Not in something, on someone, you twit!
  • Big Bird: Oh. Sorry, Zeebad. [Looks at smeared Zeebad and pulls him off her foot] Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony?
  • Zeebad: No, I am not on my way over [mocks Big Bird] to the grand-opening ceremony. [Jumps four times] I'm busy planning to rule the world! [Chuckles]
  • Big Bird: Well, good luck with that. [Runs off] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.
  • Zeebad: Stupid Bird. [Walks back to his house]
  • [Later, Jack is at a stand in front of Del's Restaurant 2. The crowd is still gathered there, seated]
  • Jack: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand-opening of my restaurant 2! [The crowd applauds]
  • Mary: We paid 9 dollars for this?
  • Rosita and Zoe: We paid $10!
  • Jack: Now, before we begin with the ribbon-cutting, I'd like to announce the name of our new manager. [The crowd applauds again]
  • Big Bird: [applauding wildly] Yay! Yeah! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah! [leans towards Matt and shushes him]
  • Jack: Yes. Well, anyway... The new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee.
  • Big Bird: [Thinking] Yes.
  • Jack: The obvious choice for the job.
  • Big Bird: [Thinking] He's right.
  • Jack: A name you all know. It starts with a letter.
  • Big Bird: [Thinking] That's me.
  • Jack: Please welcome our new manager...Matt! [A banner falls with Matt's face on it. The crowd begins to cheer and clap, but Big Bird did instead.]
  • Big Bird: Yes! Yeah! [Dances around then he shakes Matt's hand] Oh, better luck next time, buddy. [Cheers as he runs to the stage] Yeah! All right! [Grabs the microphone] People of the planet earth, as the manager of-
  • Jack: Uh, Big Bird.
  • Big Bird: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Jack. Go ahead, Jack. [Jack whispers into her ear.] I'm making a complete what of myself? [Jack whispers again] The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? [Jack whispers a third time] And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?
  • Jack: Oh, for crying out loud, Big Bird! You didn't get the job!
  • Big Bird: What?
  • Jack: You... did not... get... the job.
  • Big Bird: But... But why?
  • Jack: Big Bird, you're a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Matt because being manager is a big responsibility. Well, let's face it, she's more... mature than you.
  • Big Bird: I'm not... mature?
  • Jack: Lad, I mean this is the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see...
  • Rudy: Dork?
  • Jack: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.
  • Penny: A goofball?
  • Jack: Closer, but no, no, no.
  • Thomas: A ding-a-ling.
  • Edward: Wing nut.
  • Sarabi and BJ: A Knucklehead McSpazatron!
  • Jack: OK, that's enough! Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a bird. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it "bird-ager." You understand-ager? I mean, you understand?
  • Big Bird: I guess so, Jack.
  • [Big Bird walks away]
  • Jack: Big Bird?
  • Big Bird [depressed]: I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression.
  • Jack: Poor Bird.
  • [Woody appears flying on a banner with a "Go Big Bird" flag]
  • Woody: Hooray for Big Bird! Hooray for Big Bird!
  • [Woody accidentally hits the stage which sets on fire. Everyone except for Woody runs away]
  • Woody: Let's hear it for Big Bird! Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my banner?
  • Narrator: Later that evening...
  • [Later that evening, Zeebad is traveling through the sky on his jetpack. He stops in front of a giant castle]
  • Zeebad: Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting at the undersea castle of Diego.
  • [Mufasa is sitting in her throne by her Friend Kiara, who is sitting in another throne. Igor hits Count Duckula on the head with his trident]
  • Count Duckula: Oh, right. [Clears throat] The royal court is now in session. Bring the prisoner foward. [Guards bring a small prisoner character shaking nervously]
  • Mufasa: So, you have confessed to the crime of touching the king's crown?
  • James: Yes, but...
  • Mufasa: But what?!
  • James: But it's my job, Your Highness. I'm the royal crown polisher.
  • Mufasa: Well, then I guess I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is.
  • Kiara: Mufasa! [Frees James] You're free to go.
  • James: Bless you, Princess Kiara. [runs away]
  • Mufasa: Kiara, how dare you defy me?!
  • Kiara: Why do you have to be so mean?
  • Mufasa: I am the king. I must enforce the laws of the earth.
  • Kiara: Mufasa, I wish you'd try a little love and compassion instead of these harsh punishments.
  • Count Duckula: That would be nice. [Mufasa hits him on the head with his trident]
  • Mufasa: Count Duckula, clear the room. I wish to speak to my husband alone. [Everyone except Count Duckula and Kiara leave. Igor then shows Kiara his crown] What is this, Kiara?
  • Kiara: Your crown?
  • Mufasa: And what does this crown do?
  • Kiara: It covers your bald spot.
  • Mufasa: It's not bald! It's thinning. This crown does much more than cover a slightly receding hairline. [Puts the crown on a pillow on a stool. While his back is turned, Zeebad peeks out from behind the crown, snickering evilly] No, this crown entitles the one who wears it to be in charge of the earth. One day, you will wear this crown.
  • Nanny: I'm gonna be bald?!
  • Igor: Thinning. Anyway, the point is you, you won't wear it until you learn how to rule with an iron fist. Like our father. [he reaches for his crown, but puts the pillow on his head instead.]
  • Nanny: Uh, Igor, your "crown"...
  • Igor: What the...? [Discovers that his crown is missing] My crown! Aah! Someone has stolen the royal crown!
  • Oscar the Grouch: [We see him leaving the castle with the crown] I got it. I got it! [He flies past Diego's Ice Cream Party Boat, which we get a view of inside. The bar is filled with people eating ice cream]
  • Hooper: Hey Y'all Diego Goobers it's time to say howdy to your favorite Dora Character Diego!
  • Kids: Howdy, Diego!
  • Diego: Hey, fellow Diego goobers. Time to sing.
  • Diego: (Singing) Oh i'm a Diego Goober yeah you're a Diego Goober yeah we're all Diego Goobers yeah
  • Diego and Kids: Diego, Diego, Goober, Goober, yeah! [Cheering]
  • [We then see Big Bird sobbing at the Nut Bar]
  • Big Bird: All right. Get it together, old boy. I know. I'll just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad.
  • [Yogi walks up to him]
  • Yogi Bear: Hey, it's the new Del's restaurant 2 manager! [Boss Baby starts crying again] Wow, the pressure's already setting in.
  • Big Bird: No, Yogi, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion.
  • Woody: What? Why?
  • Big Bird: Jack thinks I'm a kid.
  • Woody: [slapping his forehead] What?! That's insane!
  • Big Bird: I know.
  • Yogi Bear: Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid! [Herbert Gassion walks up to him handing him a Diego Meal]
  • Arthur Read: Here's your Diego Meal, sir.
  • Yogi Beari: I'm supposed to get a toy with this. [Arthur Read throws one at him] Thanks.
  • Big Bird: [sighs] I'm gonna head to my house, Yogi. The celebration's off.
  • Yogi Bear: Are you sure?
  • Big Bird:Yeah. I'm not in a Diego mood. [he starts to walk away]
  • Yogi Bear: Okay, see you.
  • Arthur Read: [hands Yogi a Triple Diegoberry Sunrise] And here's your Triple Diegoberry Sunrise, sir. [Big Bird walks back to Yogi]
  • Yogi Bear: Yum!
  • Big Bird: A Triple Diegoberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those.
  • Yogi Bear: Now you're talking. Hey, waiter, we need another one over here.
  • Arthur Read: [Handing Big Bird one] There you go.
  • Big Bird: Ooh! [Big Bird and Yogi gleefully eat rapidly and get ice cream on Arthur]
  • Big Bird: Boy, Woody, that hit the spot. I'm feeling better already.
  • Woody: Yeah.
  • Big Bird: Waiter, let's get another round over here. [then Arthur gives them two more. They eat them and get more ice cream on Herbert] Oh, Mr. Waiter. Two more, please. [Then Arthur gives them two more]
  • Big Bird and Yogi Bear: Whoo! [they eat the sundaes and get even more ice cream on Arthur]
  • Big Bird: Waiter. [Then they eat two more. By this time, Arthur is covered in ice cream. We see Yogi finishing his ice cream] Oh, waiter. [singsong] Waiter. [slurring] Wai-toor. [yelling angrily and pounding on the table. The bowls are stacked sidways] Waiter!
  • Herbert Gassion: [puts a scoop of ice cream on a sundae] Why do I always get the nuts?
  • Big Bird: [Up on stage holding a lollipop] All right, folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world: [We see Kyle and Mr. Mackey up on stage, too] Kyle and this School Teacher! It's a little ditty called...
  • Big Bird and Yogi Bear: Waiter!
  • [All three faint. The next morning, Big Bird wakes up to find Herbert Gassion trying to get him up]
  • Herbert Gassion: [To Stan] Hey. Hey, get up. Hey, come on, buddy. I wanna go home. Come on, pal.
  • Big Bird:  [After recovering] Oh, my head. [He looks drunk]
  • Herbert Gassion: Listen to me. It's 8 in the morning. Go scrape your friend and get going.
  • Big Bird: My friend? [Sees Kyle lying on the floor. He looks drunk, too] Yogi. Hey, what's up, buddy? [Then realizes something] Wait, you said 8:00. I'm late for work. Chef is gonna be... [Disgustedly] Chef.
  • [At Jack's restaurant 2, Jack is pinning the manager pin on Matt's shirt. Then she pulls up a telescope to him]
  • Jack: Now, pay attention, Matt. As new manager, you've gotta keep a sharp eye out for paying customers. [Looks through the telescope]
  • Matt: Yawn.
  • Jack: What's this? Diego is riding toward my restaurant at lunchtime! He's got my money!
  • [Outside, Diego gets out of his coach and closes the door on Dora]
  • Igor: Stay in the coach, Sheep. [Gets out of the coach] This won't take long.
  • Sheep: Pig, please. I think you're overreacting.
  • Pig: Silence, Sheep. I know what I'm doing. [Turns around to leave, but bumps into Big Bird's restaurant sign pole] Ow! Frog! [Frog, who was with them in the coach, pops onto the scene]
  • Frog: Yes, Your Highness?
  • Pig: Have this pole executed at once.
  • [Inside Big Bird's restaurant 2, Big Bird is changing the price of the burger]
  • Ruff Ruffman: A hundred and one dollars for a burger?
  • Big Bird: With cheese, Mr. Ruff, with cheese.
  • [Trumpet plays. Pig comes into Big Bird's restaurant]
  • Pig: [To the customers] Greeting, subjects. I seek the one known as Big Bird. May he present himself to me at once.
  • Chef: I'm Big Bird, Your Highness. Would you like to order something?
  • Pig: [lightning flashes] Nay! I'm on to you, Big Bird! You have stolen the royal crown, you cannot deny! For, clever as you are, you left one damning piece of evidence at the scene of the crime! [Holds up a piece of paper and shows it to Big Bird]
  • Big Bird: "I stole your crown. Signed, Big Bird?!" [Eyes widen]
  • Pig: Relinquish the royal crown to me at once!
  • Big Bird: But... But this is crazy! I didn't do it!
  • The Phone: [Diesel begins impersonating Big Bird's voice] Ahoy, this is Big Bird. Leave a message.
  • Del: [He impersonates another voice] Hi, Big Bird. This is Del, the man you sold Pig's crown to. Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Pig's crown. [Big Bird tries to stop Del by kicking him but he continues to talk] I sold it to a man in Shell City, and I just wanted to say thanks again for selling me the crown. Pig's crown. [Big Bird rips the phone from the cord, but the phone still works for a brief moment] Which is now in Shell City. Goodbye.
  • Big Bird: Heh, heh... Don't you just hate wrong numbers?
  • Pig: My crown is in the forbidden Shell City?! [Screams]
  • [Outside, we see that Diesel is behind it, holding the phone]
  • Diesel: Plan Z. I love Plan Z.
  • Pig: [continues screaming] Prepare to burn, Big Bird!
  • Big Bird: [sobbing] Wait, Pig! Please, I'm begging you! I ain't a crook! Ask anyone, they'll vouch for me!
  • Pig: Very well, then. Before I turn this convincing crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Jack?
  • Big Bird: [Big Bird is burping around and looking all drunk] I've got something to say about Big- [burps] Bird.
  • Jack: Big Bird, me boy, you've come just in time. Please, tell Pig all about me.
  • Big Bird: I have worked for Chef for many years and always thought he was a great boss.
  • Jack: You see? A great boss.
  • Big Bird: [offscreen] I now realize that she's a GREAT BIG JERK! I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% man! And this man has got something to say to you. [blows a long raspberry] There, I think I made my point.
  • Pig: Anyone else? No? Well, then. [Fires at Big Bird]
  • Big Bird: Huh?
  • Big Bird: Ooh! Me outfit is on fire! Me underwear's on fire! I'm on fire! [he dives into a bucket of water] Oh, yeah.
  • Pig: And now, Big Bird, [prepares to blast Big Bird again] you... will...
  • Big Bird: Wait! I'm flattered you would do this on my account, but being manager isn't worth killing Big Bird over.
  • Pig: Quiet, fool! Big Bird stole my crown, and now it's in Shell City. That's why he must die.
  • Big Bird: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
  • Pig: You don't understand. My crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
  • Big Bird: Oh, Your Highness, I'm sure it's not that noticeable... [Pig removes his paper bag covering the top of his head, revealing a huge bald spot that shines] Bald! Bald!
  • [Everyone keeps on saying: Bald! Bald! Bald!]
  • Thomas the Train: My eyes!
  • Pig: [places the paper bag back on her head] All right, all right.
  • Big Bird: Diego, sir? Would you spare Jack's life if I went to get your crown back?
  • Pig: [stretches his eyes out] You, go to Shell City? [laughs while stretching his eyes out again] No one who's gone to Shell City has ever returned. What makes you think you could? You're just a kid. [throws Big Bird to the floor]
  • Big Bird: But I'm not a kid. I can do it.
  • Pig: Run along. I have a bird to cook. [lights his trident]
  • Jack: No! [Big Bird gets in the way]
  • Big Bird: No! I won't let you!
  • Pig: Very well, then. I'll have to fry you both!
  • Sheep: [runs to Big Bird's restaurant] Pig, stop it! Can't you get through one day without executing someone?
  • Pig: Sheep, I told you to stay in the carriage.
  • Sheep: Where's your love and compassion? [Holds Big Bird] Look at this little guy. He's willing to risk his life to find your crown and save his boss.
  • Pig: But, Sheep, I...
  • Sheep: Please, Pig? At least let him try. What have you got to lose? Might I remind you of your special problem?
  • [She removes the paper bag, once again revealing the shiny bald spot]
  • All: Bald! Bald! Bald!
  • Thomas the Train: My eyes!
  • Pig: [places the paper bag back on his head] All right. Very well, Sheep. I'll give him a chance. But when your little champion fails to return, I get to splatter this man all over the walls.
  • Big Bird: Huh?
  • Mufasa: And as for you, be back here with my crown in exactly 10 days! [Woody pops up]
  • Woody: He can do it in 9!
  • Mufasa: 8!
  • Woody: 7!
  • Mufasa: 6!
  • Big Bird and Jack: Guys! [They tackle him]
  • Pig: Six it is, then.
  • Woody: [Being choked by Big Bird] Fi--ve.
  • Big Bird: Guys, shush!
  • Mufasa: Until then, the man shall remain frozen where he now stands! [He points his trident at Jack]
  • Jack: No, wait! I'm begging you! [Mufasa freezes him]
  • Matt: Who turn on the AC? [gasps] Jack! Oh, no, this is terrible! Who's gonna sign my paycheck?
  • Pig: Come along, Sheep.
  • Kiara: Listen, you guys, the road to Shell City is really dangerous. There's crooks, killers and monsters everywhere! And what's worse, there's a giant hunter [he imitates the hunter stomping] who guards the outskirts of the city and preys on innocent creatures. Don't let him catch you, because if he does, he'll take you back to his lair, and you'll never be seen again!
  • [While Dora is explaining, Woody is staring at her]
  • Woody: She's pretty, Big Bird.
  • Sheep: Here, take this.
  • Big Bird: What's in here? [Opens bag and few winds blow at his face]
  • Kiara: It's a magical bag of winds. I stole them from my friend.
  • Woody: [To Dora] You're hot.
  • Kiara: Once you find the crown, open the bag of winds and you'll be blown back home.
  • Pig: [from outside] Sheep!
  • Kiara: I'm coming! Good luck, Big Bird.
  • Big Bird: Wait! How did you know my name?
  • Kiara: Oh, I'm gonna be queen of the world one day. I've learned the names of all the creatures.
  • Woody: What's my name?
  • Kiara: That's easy. You're Woody. [Woody's cheeks turn red and he blushes shyly from head to toe]
  • Pig: Sheep!
  • Sheep: I gotta go. I believe in you guys.
  • Big Bird: Thanks, Kiara. [Now to Jack] Don't worry, Jack. Woody, Matt, and I...
  • Matt: Pass. [He walks out the door, and leaves her hat behind]
  • Big Bird: Woody and I...
  • Woody: Hi.
  • Big Bird: ...are gonna get that crown back and save you from Diego's wrath. You've got nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands. [Jack turns his eyes and looks at them. They are drooling, and look very stupid. Jack moans out of doubt] Guys, let's go get that crown!
  • [They run into a secret room under Jack's Restaurant 2, and run into the Krabby Wagon]
  • Big Bird: Feast your eyes, Woody.
  • Woody: What is it?
  • Big Bird: The Krabby Wagon. Jack uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features. Sesame-seed finish, steel-belted pickles, grilled-leather interior. And under the hood, a fuel-injected French-fryer with dual grease traps.
  • Woody: Wow!
  • Big Bird: Yeah, wow!
  • Woody: Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license.
  • Big Bird: You don't need a license to drive a sandwich. [They start the engine, and crash through the side of Big Bird's Restaurant 2, a word that says "KER-PATTY!" appears]
  • Big Bird and Woody: Shell City, here we come!
  • [Later, Diesel enters Big Bird's Restaurant, looking satisfied with himself. Big Bird is still in there, frozen]
  • Diesel: Ding-a-ling. Hey there, old buddy. [Sarcastically] Freeze. [laughs] One secret formula to go, please. No, no, don't trouble yourself. I'll get it. [goes into the kitchen and walks out with the bottle with the Formula inside it] Well, I'd like to hang around, but I've got Krabby patties to make... over at my house. Plan Z, I love ya! [Big Bird's tears fall to the ground as Diesel leaves]
  • [The next scene cuts to Big Bird and Woody riding to a nearby gas station in the Krabby Wagon]
  • Big Bird and Woody: (Singing) Oh, I'm a Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. You're a Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. We're all Clifford the Big Red Dog, yeah. Clifford, The, Big Rex Dog, yeah!
  • [They stop at a gas station right before the county line. Past the county line, The earth's beautiful landscape is replaced by barren locations. Big Bird is wearing an aviator's outfit at the wheel and honks her horn to wake up the two hick gas station attendants, Ernie and Bert]
  • Big Bird: Fill her up, please.
  • Ernie: What'll it be, fellas? Mustard... or ketchup?! [Ernie and Bert slap their knees and crack up, rocking in their chairs]
  • Woody: Are they laughing at us?
  • Big Bird: No, Woody. They're laughing next to us.
  • [Cuphead and Mugman continue to laugh as they advance towards the Krabby Wagon. Then, Mugman bends down and Cuphead uses him for support.]
  • Cuphead: Where you two dumb kids headed, anyway?
  • Woody: Kids?!
  • Big Bird: Now, Kyle. For your information, we are not kids. We are men. And we're off to get Diego's crown in Shell City.
  • Cuphead and Mugman: Shell City?
  • Mugman: Ain't that the place that's guarded by a killer clone?
  • Big Bird: That's right.
  • Cuphead: Mugman, take off your hat in respect. Respect for the dead!
  • [The two "nyuk" and slap their knees again.]
  • Cuphead: You two dipsticks ain't gonna last 10 seconds over the county line!
  • Stan Marsh: Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. [He and Kyle get back into the Krabby Wagon and pass the county line. Hacker stops them]
  • Hacker: Out of the car, fellas. [Stan and Kyle obey and Hacker drives off in the Krabby Wagon]
  • Stan Marsh: How many seconds was that?
  • Mugman: [checks his watch] Twelve.
  • Stan and Kyle: In your face!
  • [Stan and Kyle slap their knees and laugh like Cuphead and Mugman, who don't seem to care. Kyle makes a loud noise with a blow horn.]
  • Big Bird: That's what I'm talking about. Yeah!
  • Kyle: Who's the kid now?
  • [Stan runs around Kyle and flaps his arms like chicken wings as Kyle continues to honk the aerosol can.]
  • Cuphead: Clear dead.
  • [Big Bird and Woody continue their laughing as they walk down the road. They give each other a high-five, and Kyle honks his can once more.]
  • [The scene changes to a crowd entering the House back in ???. Tom Pusslicker is in front, once again reporting on TV]
  • Tom Pusslicker: Tom Pusslicker here with an incredible news flash. Satan is selling Krabby Patties at the House. How is this possible? Let's find out. (He goes inside)
  • (Inside, Satan is watching his new customers) 
  • Satan: Step right up. Plenty for everybody. 
  • Tom Pusslicker: Excuse me, Satan. Tom Pusslicker, Earth News. Can I get a minute? 
  • Satan: Anything for you, Tom. 
  • Tom Pusslicker: All of Earth wants to know, how did you get the Krabby Patty? 
  • Satan: Well, Tom, before my dear friend Chef was frozen by Rick... (voice breaking) I'm sorry. He confided in me a secret wish. "Sell the Krabby Patty in my absence at the Chum Bucket," he said. "Don't let the flame die out." (sobs) By the way, act now and you get a free Chum Bucket bucket helmet with every purchase. Here you go, Tom. (He plants a bucket helmet on his head) 
  • Tom Pusslicker: Thanks. 
  • Satan: Bucket helmets for everyone! 
  • Man: (happily) My helmet! 
  • (Satan enters his lab, where Shelly is) 
  • Satan: Shelly, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife. 
  • Shelly Marsh: I never agreed. 
  • Satan: Evil Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now. 
  • Shelly Marsh: Nothing except Stan and his friend. (Displays Stan and Kyle on the road on her computer screen) My sensors indicate that they're going after the crown. If they make it back, Rick might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints. (Satan looks at his hands) 
  • Satan: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator! 
  • Saddam: (takes off sunglasses in another one) Sesame seed. 
  • Cuphead: Hey, mister, does that hat take ten gallons? (Both gas station fish laugh. For this, Saddan rips of their mouths and drives away)  
  • (Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle are still going)  
  • Kyle Broflovski: Going on. 
  • Stan Marsh: Yeah! Moving on. Just keep going. 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Yup. 
  • Stan Marsh: Gonna get that crown. 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Oh, yeah. All right. 
  • Stan Marsh: Yeah. Victory. 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Are we there yet? 
  • Stan Marsh: We must be close by now. (Sees a sign) Kyle, look. We're doing great! Shell City's only five days away. (A leaf blocking part of the sign comes off, revealing 2 more words) 
  • Kyle Broflovski: By car
  • Stan Marsh: I wish we still had our car. 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Stan, look! 
  • Stan and Kyle: Our car! (We see the Patty Wagon in front of a beat-up bar. Stan and Kyle are about ready to get in the Patty Wagon, but Stan notices that the key is missing) 
  • Stan Marsh: The key! 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Where do you think it is? (A man is thrown out of the bar, the Thug Tug, groaning in pain. Stan and Kyle peek in through the window and see loads of Baldi's Basics Characters drinking, playing pool and fighting. They both see a ski masked Arts and Crafters with the spatula key in his pocket) 
  • Big Bird: There it is, Kyle. The key! Now, how are we gonna get it? 
  • Kyle Broflovski: I know. Walk in and ask him for it. 
  • Baldi: What are you looking at? (Punching sounds is heard)
  • Stan Marsh: Kyle, that's a terrible idea. 
  • Kyle Broflovski: Sorry.
  • Big Bird: I know. I'll go in and create a distraction, and you get the key.
  • Kyle Broflovski: Wait. I wanna do the distraction.
  • Stan Marsh: Okay. I guess it really doesn't matter who does the distraction.
  • (Kyle then walks inside the Thug Tug, looking tough)
  • Kyle Broflovski: (Using his mouth as a megaphone) Can I have everybody's attention? (Everybody surrounds closer to Kyle) I have to use the bathroom.
  • Arts and Crafters: It's right over there. (Spots Stan trying to take the key from him. Stan starts to rub on the floor)
  • Big Bird: Stupid contacts. Oh, there it is. I better go wash it off. (Runs away)
  • (Inside the restroom, Kyle is whizzing. He finishes as Stan comes in)
  • Big Bird: Kyle. You call that a distraction?
  • Kyle Broflovski: Well, I had to go to the bathroom.
  • Stan Marsh: Well, I got my hands dirty for nothing. (Stan pushes the soap dispenser and bubbles came out.) Kyle, check it out!
  • Stan and Kyle: Hooray! Bubble party! (The duo parties with the bubbles. One floats out of the restroom and into the Thug Tug bar)
  • Dr. Eggman: Hey! Who blew this bubble? You all know the rules!
  • Baldi's Basics Characters: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
  • Dr. Eggman: That's right! So who blew it? So nobody knows.
  • (Stan and Kyle burst bubbles)
  • Principal of the Thing: Maybe it was...
  • Dr. Eggman: Shut up! (Throws a chair on him) Somebody in here ain't a real man. (Sees Stan and Kyle trying to sneak out) You! We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. Now, everybody line up. DJ, time for the test. No baby can resist singing along to this. (The Mr. Mackey theme song plays)
  • Kyle Broflovski: Stan, it's the Mr. Mackey theme song.
  • Stan Marsh: I know. (Stan and Kyle try to resist to sing along)
  • Beans: (coughs)
  • Dr. Eggman: It was you! You're the baby!
  • Beans: No, no! I only coughed, I swear. (The owner eyes him)
  • Dr. Eggman: DJ! Turn it up louder!
  • Stan Marsh: (trying not to sing) Don't sing along, Kyle!
  • Kyle Broflovski: I'm trying. Trying so hard. (The owner notices his and Stan's struggle and starts singing)
  • Dr. Eggman: I'm a Mr. Mackey Goober, yeah You're a Mr. Mackey, yeah We're all Mr. Mackeys, yeah!
  • (Stan and Kyle are about to sing, when some double-headed twins sing instead)
  • Daniel Tiger & Super Why: Mackey, Mr., Mackey, Mr., yeah!
  • Dr. Eggman: Well, well, well. Which one of you babies was it?
  • Daniel Tiger & Super Why: It was him. He did it. I've never even eaten at... Mr., mackey, mr., mackeys, yeah!
  • Dr. Eggman: Well, looks like we got ourselves a double baby! (All of the tough guys start beating them up while Stan and Kyle sneak out of the Thug Tug)
  • Stan Marsh: Man, that was a close call.
  • Kyle Broflovski: Guess what I got. (Pulls out the key)
  • Stan Marsh: The key!
  • (He and Kyle start up the Patty Wagon, get in, and drive away)
  • (Back in Bikini Bottom for the next morning, Cartman is enjoying the time without Stan)
  • Eric Cartman: Too bad Stan's not here to enjoy Stan not being here. (He starts to ride his bike around town)
  •  ???: Morning. (Eric notices he is wearing a Chum Bucket helmet)
  • Eric Cartman: Some people have no taste in headgear. (Looks around more and sees everyone with a helmet, even a baby) Babies too? (Rides over to a female ??? in a boat, waiting for the light to change) Excuse me, miss, but where is everybody getting that horrid headwear?
  •  ???: (She looks around) Who said that?
  • Eric Cartman: Down here.
  •  ???: (Finds ???) Well, I got it at the House. Satan's giving them away free with every Krabby Patty.
  • Eric Cartman: House? Free? Krabby Patty? Satan? Giving? With?
  • (At the House, Satan is enjoying his day and watching his customers. Eric bursts in)
  • Eric Cartman: So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh, Satan?
  • Satan: That's right, Eric. (Pulls out a helmet) And there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
  • Eric Cartman: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
  • Satan: And what's that supposed to mean?
  • Eric Cartman: It means you set up Chef. You stole the crown so Rick would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby little paws on the Krabby Patty formula. (Satan looks at his hands) It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck. And I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, Rick!
  • Satan: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips. (Presses a button on Shelly)
  • Shelly Marsh: Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
  • Eric Cartman: Huh? What? (A satellite goes up on the Chum Bucket, causing the bucket helmets to start to control their wearers)
  • Wearers of Helmets: All hail Satan.
  • Eric Cartman: (Eyes widened) What's going on here?
  • Satan's Slaves (Wearers of Helmets): All hail Satan.
  • Satan: Seize him, slaves!
  • Slaves: All hail Satan.
  • Eric Cartman: I'm getting out of here! (Runs for the door, but more slaves burst in and corner him)
  • Slaves: All hail Satan. All hail Satan.
  • (Matt, cornered, screams in horror as Satan's slaves capture him)
  • Satan: Who can stop me now? Who?!
  • (Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle are still traveling in the Patty Wagon. They are laughing from something Patrick has done)
  • Stan Marsh: Come on, Kyle, one more time.
  • Kyle Broflovski: Okay. (Imitates the guy who owns the Thug Tug) We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out. (Stan and Kyle laugh)
  • Stan: Weed them out. What a jerk. (They both drive along a pile of skulls) The road's getting kind of bumpy here.
  • Kyle Broflovski: You know, Stan, there's a lesson to be learned from all of this.
  • Stan Marsh: What's that, Kyle?
  • Kyle Broflovski: A bubble-blowing double baby doesn't belong out here in man's country.
  • Stan Marsh: Yeah. (Then realizes something) Wait. We blew that bubble. Doesn't that make us a bubble-blowing double baby? (Both think about this until he spots a free ice cream stand)
  • Kyle Broflovski: Hey look! Free ice cream!
  • Stan Marsh: Oh, boy! (heads the stand)
  • Kyle Broflovski: (Talks to a skull) How you doing? Wait a minute. (Kyle looks at his surroundings and looked worried) Wait a minute. Stan!
  • Stan Marsh: Yeah?
  • Kyle Broflovski: Make mine a chocolate!
  • Stan Marsh: Got you covered. (To the old woman) Two, please.
  • Old Woman: Certainly. You kids enjoy. (she takes out a fake ice cream)
  • Stan Marsh: Actually, we're men, lady, but thanks. (Gets bowl) Hey, Kyle, let's... (His hand is stuck on the bowl, which the old woman is still holding) You can let go now. I said, let go, please. What is this? What kind of old lady are you? (A huge frog fish comes out of the ground, revealing that the old woman was its tongue. When the frog fish is about to eat Stan, he breaks lose and falls into the Krabby Wagon)
  • Kyle Broflovski: Did you get the ice cream? (frog fish roars)
  • Stan Marsh: Step on it, Kyle! (Kyle drives the Patty Wagon at top speed away from the frog fish, which is in hot pursuit, as he and Stan scream)
  • (Saddam has arrived at The Thug Tug, at that time, and is looking around. He finds Stan's bubble. Suddenly, all baldi basics characters appear)
  • Dr. Eggman: Hey! (Saddam turns around) You may not know it, cowboy, but we got a rule around here about blowing bubbles. (Snaps his fingers and all baldi basics characters say the rule)
  • Baldi's Basics Characters: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied person... (Saddam punches Dr. Eggman into the Thug Tug, which breaks and falls into the ground, then drives away)
  • (Cut back to Stan and Kyle still fleeing from the monster)
  • Old Woman: Come on, kiddies, have some ice cream. I'll let you pet Mr. Whiskers. (A cat on a tongue is shown)
  • Mr. Whiskers: Meow.
  • Stan Marsh: Jump for it, Kyle! (They jump out of the Patty Wagon, which the frog fish eats. A gigantic eel eats the frog fish and dives back in. Stan and Kyle stare in disbelief) Well, we lost our car again.
  • Kyle Broflovski: Never mind the car, where's the road? (echoes) Road, road, road, (the echo turns out to be Kyle repeating) road, road, road, road, r... Sorry.
  • Stan Marsh: There's the road. On the other side of this (Looks down the trench in front of them) deep, dark... dangerous...
  • Kyle Broflovski: (after seeing a fire) Hazardous.
  • Stan Marsh: Hazardous...
  • Kyle Broflovski: (after seeing a tentacle) Monster-infested.
  • Stan Marsh: Yeah, monster-infested... trench.
  • Kyle Broflovski: Hey, Stan, look! Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City. (Kyle took the first step and monsters grawls) Hey, look, it's making noise. Stan? (Sees him about to leave) Hey, where are you going?
  • Stan Marsh: I'm going home, Kyle.
  • Kyle Broflovski: But what about Chef?
  • Stan Marsh: What about us? We'll never survive in that trench. You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Kyle. We're just...kids.
  • Kyle Broflovski: We're not kids.
  • Stan Marsh: Open your eyes, Kyle! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! We don't belong out here!
  • Kyle Broflovski: We do not worship him.
  • Stan Marsh: (Pulls down his shorts) Kyle, You've been wearing the same Mackey Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight. (We see Kyle's underwear with the Goofy Goober pictures on it) What do you call that?
  • Kyle: Worship? (Gets tears in his eyes) You're right, Stan. We are kids. (Runs around then falls down)
  • Stan: Pull your pants up, Kyle. We're going home.
  • Kiara: But you can't go home!
  • (Big Bird and Woody see Kiara riding a coach driven by sea horses)
  • Chris and Martin: Kiara?! (Struggles to put his shorts on)
  • Zoboomafoo: Kiara? How much did you hear?
  • Sheep: I heard enough.
  • Chris: Did you see my underwear?
  • Sheep: No, Guys.
  • Martin: Did you want to?
  • Sheep: Look, guys, you may be kids, but you're the only ones left who can get that crown.
  • Zoboomafoo: What do you mean, the only ones left?
  • Sheep: Things have gotten a lot worse since you left PBS Kids Neighborhood. (Pulls out a magical clam, which opens up revealing Bikini Bottom now) Or should I say Dieoplis.
  • Slaves: All hail Zeebad.
  • Diesel: No resting! This monument celebrating my glory isn't gonna build itself. Move faster!
  • Big Bird: Oh, my gosh! Guys, look! Zeebad's turned everyone we know into slaves. (We see what everyone is doing work for Diesel) Matt, Zoe and Rosita, Mary, (Big Bird gasps) even Ant.
  • Ant: Meow Diesel.
  • Zoboomafoo: Can't your friend do something?
  • Sheep: Pig's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything. (The magical clam shows Pig's bald spot about to be sprayed by Frog with hair growth spray)
  • Pig: Frog, will you hurry? (Frog is nervous. He closes his eyes and sprays. Well, he accidentally sprays Pig's eyes, which grow hair and screams)
  • Sheep: (She closes the clam) So you see, you can't quit. The fate of Neighborhood rests in your hands.
  • Zoboomafoo: But... But we're just...
  • Sheep: Hey. It doesn't matter if you're kids. What's so wrong with being a kid, anyway? Kids rule! You don't need to be a man to do this. You just gotta believe in yourself. You just gotta believe! (Swims up into the sky, then comes back down)
  • Zoboomafoo: I believe.
  • Sheep: That's the spirit.
  • Big Bird: I believe that everybody we know is a goner! (He, Chris and Martin begin crying)
  • Sheep: Come on, guys. (They don't stop) Guys. (They still don't stop) Guys? (they both drink their own tears) Ew.
  • Narrator: Meanwhile.
  • (Zach is next scene crashing threw a bunch of skulls and laughs and one skull becomes a poison look)
  • Kiara: Guys? (No answer) Oh... Think, Sheep, think. (Then she comes up with an idea) Yup, I guess you're right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. That's why I guess I'll just have to turn you into men.
  • (Zoboomafoo and Guys stop crying)
  • Big Bird: You can do that? How?
  • Sheep: With my mermaid magic.
  • : OOOOOOOOOOOOH.
  • Big Bird: Did you hear that, Guys? She'll use her mermaid magic to turn us into men!
  • Zoboomafoo, Chris and Martin: [Singing] Hooray! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men! We're gonna be men!
  • Sheep: Good. Now, let's get started. Close your eyes.
  • Big Bird: Are we men yet?
  • Sheep: Not yet. Spin around three times.
  • Big Bird: (Whispers) I think it's working. (They turn around like they are doing ballet)
  • Sheep: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. (Grabs two sea weed and puts them onto Guys as mustache) With my mermaid's magic and my one tailfin (Chris and Martin giggles), I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.
  • Big Bird: I don't feel any... (Notices that Chris and Martin has a "mustache") Oh, my gosh, Guys, you have a mustache!
  • Chris: So do you!
  • Sheep: So now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City? (The Guys adores their mustaches) Guys!
  • Guys: Yeah?
  • Sheep: I said, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
  • Guys: Heck, yeah!
  • Sheep: Are men afraid of anything?
  • Guys: Heck, no!
  • Sheep: And why?
  • Guys: Because we're invincible! (Jump off trench) Yeah!
  • Sheep: I never said that!
  • (As they fall, Guys do tough moves)
  • Zoboomafoo: Guys?
  • Chris: Yeah, buddy?
  • Zoboomafoo: Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?
  • Martin: Bec... well...
  • Zoboomafoo: (A branch catches them and stops them from falling and they land safely on the ground) Guys.
  • Chris: Huh Are We Dead?
  • Zoboomafoo: No, far from it, my friend. We're safe and sound at the bottom of this trench.
  • Martin: The mustaches worked!
  • Zoboomafoo: Do you know what that means? We are invincible!
  • Guys: Now that we're men, we can do anything. (An eel flips them in the sky and is about to eat them) Now that we're men, we are invincible. (A squid catches them but crashes in a tall piece of coral) Now that we're men, we'll go to Shell City, (they slide down the coral and fly across 3 slow monsters. They then fall in a see-through fish) get the crown, save the town, and Big Bird. (They walk out of the end of it's gut) Now that we're men, (walking between sea urchins)
  • Zoboomafoo: We have facial hair.
  • Guys: Now that we're men,
  • Chris: (An urchin rips Patrick's shorts off) We change my underwear.
  • Guys: Now that we're men, we've got a manly flair. (waking over volcanos switching on and off) We've got the stuff. We're tough enough to save the day. (playing hopscotch over lava rocks) We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No! (They dodge a monster's head, a green hand and a monstrous boulder) But take a look at what the sheep did. (They dodge a giant green crab who can't even get a chance to pinch them) Ha! Ha! Ha! (They walk onto a road which turns out to be a big, blue, one eyed angler fish's fin. The two begin dancing and slapping their bodies)
  • Big Bird: Yeah, go, Guys. (a green 3 eyed fish and a red squid appears with the purple one-eyed angler fish. When Guys were slapping their bodies and legs, the green 3 eyed fish beckons an big orange fish, a purple lobster/dragon, a green one eyed monster with 3 arms on its head, a snail with its eyes on its shell, a big yellow monster with an eye on a stalk and a clam with one eye in its mouth)
  • Martin: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
  • Big Bird: Oh yeah.
  • Chris: Yeah, go Zoboomafoo. (They both finish by touching the tip of their toes) Ah!
  • Monsters: Hooray!
  • Monsters: Now that they're men, We can't bother them. Now that they're men, they have become our friends. Now that they're men, there'll be a happy end. They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown. They'll pass the test (they slap their bodies) and finish the quest. (and again) They'll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!
  • (The group happily reaches the top of a trench as Stan notices a sign)
  • Big Bird: "Shell City, dead ahead." We did it, Guys! We made it past everything! Even the hideous, disgusting monsters. (Monsters begin to walk away) Not you guys. You guys are awesome! (Monsters just keep walking) Well, Guys, we should be there in one more verse.
  • Guys: Now that we're-
  • Zach: Finally. I got you right where I want you.
  • Big Bird: Can I help you with something, sir?
  • Zach: Name's Zach. I've been hired to exterminate you.
  • Big Bird: You're gonna exterminate us? (They look at each other and laugh) Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
  • Zach: You mean these? (Rips Guys' fake mustache Off of their faces, Guys Wimper while feeling their cheeks in horror) I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
  • (Zach throws seaweed Dramatically, seaweed falls to the ground after a slight spin)
  • Big Bird: They were fake?
  • Zach: Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like. (He grows a mustache)
  • Martin: Is he a mermaid?
  • Zach: All right. Enough gab.
  • Big Bird: What are you gonna do to us?
  • Zach: Diesel was very specific.
  • Big Bird: Diesel?
  • Zach: For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
  • Chris: Step on us?
  • Zach: Yeah! That way you'll never find out that he stole the crown!
  • (Guys look at each other again, this time, more scared)
  • Zach: uhhh... Perhaps I've said too much. (Raises up his foot, ready to step on the two)
  • Martin: That's a big boot.
  • Zach: Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot. (Laughs maniacally) I love this job! (An extremely large boot stomps on Zach)
  • Chris: Bigger boot! (Starts to run away, but Zoboomafoo stops him)
  • Zoboomafoo: Wait, Guys. This bigger boot saved our lives.
  • Martin: Yay!
  • Guys: Thank you, stranger.
  • (Zoboomafoo looks up)
  • Zoboomafoo: uhh... Stranger?
  • (Elmer Fudd looks at them)
  • Zoboomafoo: It's Elmer Fudd! (The two Try to run, but Elmer Fudd grabs them and takes them with him)
  • Guys: Help us! Help us! Save us, someone!
  • (Guys have recovered on a bed of tank pebbles)
  • Chris: Are we dead?
  • Zoboomafoo: I don't think so. (Inspects the ground) Artificially colored rocks?
  • (Guys eats the pebbles)
  • Zoboomafoo: I don't know where we are.(Bumps into glass) What is this?
  • Martin: It's some kind of wall of psychic energy. (Taps the glass of the fishbowl they are in)
  • Zoboomafoo: No, guys, it's a giant glass bowl.
  • (Screen zooms out to show the outside of the fish bowl)
  • Zoboomafoo: Hey, there's some nice folks.
  • (Camera unblurs to show Jumba, Pleakley, BooGoo, Dim Long, Timon, Pumbaa, Donkey and Dory on the shelves and nooks)
  • Guys: Hey, over here! Hey! Hey! Hey, you guys! You guys, hey! Help! Hey! Help! A little help here! We're stuck in this... (Chris and Martin stops yelling)
  • (Camera shows Jumba, Pleakley, BooGoo, Dim Long, Timon, Pumbaa, Donkey and Dory)
  • Zoboomafoo: Wait a second. Those guys are... (Camera zooms in to Zoboomafoo's mouth) dead. [Elmer Fudd spies on Guys, who run around the fishbowl in terror, while the Elmer Fudd laughs evilly] What's he gonna do to us? (Elmer Fudd appears and takes out a small toolbox) Oh, no, he's going for his evil instruments of torture. (Elmer Fudd takes out glue and google eyes) Glue? Google eyes? He's making a humorous diorama of.. [Elmer Fudd glues the google eyes on a clam, and puts a hat on it and a play phone near it] ... Alexander Clam Bell? Guys, he's killing sea animals and making them into smelly knickknacks. And I think we're next.
  • Chris: You think so? (Elmer Fudd takes Chris and Martin out of bowl)
  • Zoboomafoo: Guys! No!
  • (Elmer Fudd takes Zoboomafoo out of bowl and puts both on a table involving a heating lamp)
  • Zoboomafoo: The heat is so intense from this lamp that I can't move.
  • Martin: Tell me about it.
  • Elmer Fudd: (Laughs Maniacally)
  • Zoboomafoo: This doesn't look too good, Guys.
  • Chris and Martin: (In a old man voice) You mean we're not gonna get the crown, save the town and Big Bird?
  • Zoboomafoo: I don't even think we're gonna be able to save ourselves, buddy.
  • (Zoboomafoo's arm falls off, then Guys puts it back)
  • Zoboomafoo: Thanks.
  • Chris: Don't mention it.
  • Zoboomafoo: Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Guys.
  • Martin: You mean that we're attractive?
  • Zoboomafoo: No, that we're just kids. A couple of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, look at us. We didn't even come close to the crown. We let everybody down. We failed.
  • Chris: Shell City.
  • Zoboomafoo: Yeah, we never made it to Shell City.
  • Martin: Shell City.
  • Zoboomafoo: Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to.
  • Chris: Shell City.
  • Zoboomafoo: OK, now you're starting to bum me out, Guys.
  • Martin: No, look at the sign. (Zoboomafoo sees what he was talking about. A sign by the door) "Shell City. Marine gifts and sundries."
  • Zoboomafoo: Shell City is a gift shop? But if this is Shell City, then where's the...? (Camera zooms out to show Pig's crown sitting on a cushion)
  • Guys: Crown!
  • Zoboomafoo: Pig's crown. This is Shell City. Guys, we did make it.
  • Chris: Yeah, I guess we did.
  • Zoboomafoo: We did all right for a couple of goofballs.
  • (Both shed one tear of joy)
  • Zoboomafoo: (In a weak voice) I'm a Alpha Pig, yeah...
  • Guys: (Also in a weak voice) You're a Alpha Pig, yeah... (Camera goes down to show tears in 2 combined teardrops) We're all Alpha Pigs, yeah.(Screen goes back up to show the two drying) Alpha, Alpha., Pig, Pig, yeah (The two dehydrate and die)
  • (Camera pans back in the theater, where all of the pirates in the audience are crying)
  • Captain: That's the end of Zoboomafoo. (To a pirate) Come here, you. (Hugs him tight when a parrot lands on his shoulder)
  • Captain's Parrot: *squawk* Shut up and look at the screen.
  • Captain: The bird's right. Look! (Camera goes back to movie to show the teardrop again) It be the tear of the Alpha Pigs.
  • (The teardrop rolls down the lamp's wire into the electrical outlet which lets out smoke, causing the sprinklers to turn on. They come back to life from the water and suffocate for one second.)
  • Zoboomafoo: Hey, we're alive! (The pirates cheer and people cheer as the back to movie to show Guys) Let's get that crown.
  • Chris and Martin: Right. (He and Zoboomafoo rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up)
  • Zoboomafoo: On three, Guys. Ready? One, two, three. (Elmer Fudd picks up crown) Hey, it's lighter than I thought. Huh?
  • (Guys scream)
  • Elmer Fudd: ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Martin: What's happening?
  • Zoboomafoo: I don't know. Look!
  • (Jumba, Pleakley, BooGoo, Dim Long, Timon, Pumbaa, Donkey and Dory reanimate Jumba, Pleakley, BooGoo and Dim Long Squirt Glue at Elmer Fudd and Timon, Pumbaa, Donkey and Dory attack Elmer Fudd and Guys escape)
  • Zoboomafoo: Come on, Guys. Let's get this crown back to PBS Kids Neighborhood.
  • (The two carry the crown outside to the beach)
  • Zoboomafoo: Do you still have that bag of winds?
  • Chris: I sure do. (Guys shows a lump on his butt) Here you go. (Pulls out the bag. Zoboomafoo stares at him, wide-eyed) What?
  • Zoboomafoo: Nothing, nothing... Okay, let's go over the instructions. (Reads the paper with the instructions on it) Let's see, it says here, "Step one: Point bag away from home. "
  • Martin: OK. (Points bag at Shell City)
  • Zoboomafoo: "Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground. "
  • Chris: Right! (Plants his feet in the sand)
  • Zoboomafoo: "Step three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds. "
  • Martin: Check. (Pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm)
  • Zoboomafoo: Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, let's do it for real.
  • Chris: Uh, Zoboomafoo?
  • Zoboomafoo: No, no, stop! (He chases after the bag)
  • Martin: I was bad, I'm sorry!
  • Zoboomafoo: Please, bag.
  • Chris: I'm sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake!
  • Zoboomafoo: Oh, no. How will we ever get back to PBS Kids Neighborhood now?
  • Rex Dasher: I can take you there.
  • (Guys spot Rex Dasher running towards them)
  • Zoboomafoo: Who are you?
  • Rex Dasher: I'm Rex Dasher.
  • Guys: Hooray!
  • Zoboomafoo: So where's your boat?
  • Rex Dasher: Boat? (He laughs heartily)
  • (The next scene depicts Guys riding toward PBS Kids Neighborhood)
  • Zoboomafoo: Go, Hasselhoff!
  • Martin: Next stop, PBS Kids Neighborhood.
  • (The scene back at Neighborhood as the scene Satan's slaves are still under control)
  • Slaves: All hail Diesel. All hail Diesel.
  • (Inside Big Bird's restaurant 2, Deisel is walking in)
  • Diesel: Well, Bird, you know what today is? (Looks at calendar. The date is wrong) Sorry about this, calendar. (Changes it) March 14th. Wait, that's not right. It should say "The day that Krabs fries!" (Looks out the window and sees Pig and Sheep arrive) Oooh! Guess who's here.
  • (Above the ocean)
  • Rex Dasher: (swimming with Guys)
  • (The scene changes to The Boss Baby on the boat and Dasher keep swimming)
  • Big Bird: Whoa. (falls down on the water)
  • (The scene cut of Rex Dasher keep swimming toward PBS Kids Neighborhood)
  • Big Bird: Hooray for Dasher! Nothing can stop us now.
  • Chris: Unidentified object off the hindquarters.
  • Zoboomafoo: It looks like...
  • (The diver's boot emerges from the ocean)
  • Zoboomafoo: Bigger boot. But how? (The boot stops behind Hasselhoff’s foot. It lifts back to reveal a smudged blob, very similar to Diesel earlier when he got stepped on by Zoboomafoo. From it, Zach reforms, his sunglasses smashed through, his teeth sharp and his clothes ripped. Then, he peels himself off and lands on Hasselhoff's foot.) Ah! Zach!
  • Zach: (smiles in an evil manner) Did you miss me?
  • (At Big Bird's restaurant 2, Pig and Sheep arrive)
  • Diesel: (He has popcorn and a drink with him. He is sitting on a small chair) This is the best seat in the house. All right, Rick, let's get it on!
  • Pig: Big Bird, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.
  • Big Bird: (Big Bird is rapidly sweating mounds of ice cubes) Please, I didn't do it!
  • Pig: There is nothing else I can do.
  • Sheep: You can give Guys a little more time.
  • Pig: Except give Guys a little more time... (muttering) What? (Realizes what he just said, then turns to Sheep!!! Will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution.
  • Sheep: Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.
  • Pig: Yes, you are.
  • Sheep: No, I'm not.
  • Pig: Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.
  • Sheep: I'm stalling.
  • Pig: Yes.
  • Sheep: Stalling?
  • Pig: Stalling!
  • Sheep: Stalling.
  • Pig: Stalling!
  • Diesel: Oh, boy.
  • (Back above the ocean, Zach has appeared. He takes off his smashed through shades and throws them in the sea.)
  • Zach: Now, where were we?
  • Zoboomafoo: Guys, run!
  • Martin: No, We're tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop... (Zach throws Guys towards Rex Dasher's feet)
  • Chris: Run, Zoboomafoo! (Zoboomafoo runs. Zach pulls out a knife, which he accidentally stabs Dasher in the butt with.)
  • Rex Dasher: Ooh. Take it easy back there, fellas.
  • (Zoboomafoo tries run from Zach, but he's coming closer and closer.)
  • Martin: Zoboomafoo, be careful.
  • Zach: Come on, kid, give it up. Zach always gets his man.
  • Zoboomafoo: Never!!!!!!! (Jumps to Dasher's other foot dramatically) Yeah! I did it!
  • Zach: You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you.
  • Zoboomafoo: I don't know what Diesel's paying you, (Takes out a pile of Goober Dollars) but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. (Zach swipes the dollars)
  • Zach: It's gonna take a lot more than five...(looks at the dollars) What is this?
  • Zoboomafoo: Uh, That, sir, is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober (throws the dollars away and grabs Zoboomafoo)... I got bubbles. Fun at parties. (sprays soapy bubbles into Zach's eyes which causes them to swell up and go red.)
  • Zach: My eyes! (Throws Zoboomafoo)
  • Guys: We got you, Zoboomafoo! (Catches him)
  • Zoboomafoo: Thanks, buddy. (Zach threatens to squish them) Uh, thanks a lot.
  • Zach: That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! (sees the boat) Huh?
  • (Zach suddenly crashes with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean)
  • Chris: See ya.
  • (Inside Big Bird’s restaurant 2)
  • Sheep: So you think....I'm....stalling.
  • Pig: Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Where am I, in crazy town? I have had enough of this nonsense!! You are to wait in the carriage until the execution is done!!!
  • Sheep: But Daddy...
  • Pig: Now!!! (She gets on the elevator and press the floor button. Pig closes the elevator)
  • Sheep: No, no, no! Oh, Zoboomafoo, wherever you are, you better hurry.
  • Rex Dasher: [Arrives below PBS Kids Neighborhood] Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. PBS Kids Neighborhood's directly below.
  • Big Bird: But we'll never be able to float down in time.
  • Rex Dasher: Who said anything about floating? [Stands up]
  • Announcer: Initiating launch sequence.
  • Guys: What the? [Rex Dasher's pecs turn into launchers]
  • Big Bird: Did you see that?
  • Martin: The control. [Dasher grabs them]
  • Rex Dasher: All hands on deck. [Places them on his pecs and prepares for liftoff]
  • Announcer: Ten seconds to liftoff. Nine, eight...
  • Pig: (Lights his trident) Big Bird, the time has come...
  • Sheep: (Outside) No.
  • Diesel: (Quietly) Yes!
  • Announcer: ...6, 5...
  • Pig: ....For you....
  • Sheep: (Outside) No.
  • Diesel: (Normally) Yes!
  • Announcer: ...3, 2...
  • Pig: ....To fry.
  • Sheep: (Outside) No.
  • Diesel: (close up) YES!!!
  • Announcer: ... 1. (Explosion Guys and the crown are launched in the ocean and back down to Neighborhood.)
  • Big Bird: NO! (Just then, Guys fall through the roof. Big Bird is about to be fried, but the crown blocks the ray, and it is blasted up to land, where Dasher is lying down)
  • Rex Dasher: You done good, Dasher. You done... (He is blasted with Pig's ray and survives) ow.
  • Zoboomafoo: Hooray! We made it!
  • Chris: We made it!
  • (Guys laugh and jump with excitement)
  • Big Bird: Ha! Ha! Oh, I he ya! Yippee! Ho! Ho! We made it!
  • Pig: My crown! My beautiful crown!
  • Sheep: (gets out of the elevator) Guys, I knew you could do it! (Hugs them. Diesel then starts clapping slowly)
  • Diesel: (Sarcastically) Oh, yes. Well done, Zoboomafoo.
  • Big Bird: (Sarcastically) Sorry to rain on your parade, Diesel.
  • Diesel: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! (Pulls a cord that is hanging above him)
  • Sheep, Zoboomafoo & Guys: Umbrella? (Turn to Pig, who is kissing his crown. The ceiling opens up and a helmet falls out. It lands on Pig's head. He struggles to get it off)
  • Sheep: Pig, no!
  • Diesel: Pig, yes! [Pulls out a remote control with only a big, red button on it. He presses the button]
  • Pig: [We see Pig still struggling. An antenna emerges from the top of the helmet, turning him to a slave. He stops and says only 3 words] All hail Diesel. [Sheep, Zoboomafoo and Guys scream. Diesel's slaves burst in through the windows]
  • People: All hail Diesel. All hail Diesel. All hail Diesel. All hail Diesel. [Sheep, Zoboomafoo and Guys back up against the wall. Pig lights his trident]
  • Martin: Zoboomafoo, what happened?
  • Big Bird: Diesel cheated.
  • Diesel: Cheated? (Now to Pig) Hold on there, baldy. (Now to Zoboomafoo) Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You'd never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
  • Big Bird: Because you cheated?
  • Diesel: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid!
  • Big Bird: I guess you're right, Satan. I am just a kid.
  • Diesel: Of course I'm right. Okay, Pig, time to kill.
  • Big Bird: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.
  • Diesel: That's right. Okay, Pig...
  • Big Bird: And no amount of mermaid magic...(Turns to Sheep)...or managerial promotion... (Turns to the frozen Bid Bird)...or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
  • Diesel: That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
  • Big Bird: (over microphone) But that's okay.
  • Diesel: What? What's going on?
  • Big Bird: Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City, and I beat Elmer Fudd, and I rode the Dasher, and I brought the crown back.
  • Diesel: All right, we get the point.
  • Big Bird: So, yeah, I'm a kid. (Dry ice smoke surrounds Satan, and a spotlight appears on Big Bird.) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
  • Diesel: What? (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?
  • Big Bird: But most of all, I'm...
  • Diesel: Okay, settle down. Take it easy. Oh No?
  • Big Bird: I'm... I'm...I'M!...I'M!
  • Diesel: What the scallop!?
  • Big Bird: (song blast) I'm a goofy goober! (Rock) You're a goofy goober! (Rock) We're all goofy goobers! (Rock) Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober! (Rock) Put your toys away Well, then I got to say when you tell me not to play I say, no way (No way) No, no, no, no way I'm a kid, you say When you say I'm a kid I say, say it again And then I say thanks (Thanks) Thank you very much So if you thinking that you'd like to be like me Go ahead and try The kid inside will set you free I'm a goofy goober! (Rock) You're a goofy goober! (Rock) We're all goofy goobers! (Rock)
  • Goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goober, yeah!
  • Diesel: (recovering from being flung into the wall) What's happening? (Sees Zoboomafoo dancing) His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. (To slaves) Seize him!
  • People: All hail Diesel. (People begin walking towards Zoboomafoo, when suddenly Zoboomafoo explodes into a wizard outfit, using his guitar to blast the control buckets off of the controlled people)
  • Ord: I'm free. I've been freed!
  • Diesel: What? No! (Helmets continue to be blasted off as the fish erupt in cheer) My precious helmets!
  • (The main cast of characters all get their helmets blown off before Big Bird shoots a laser into the ceiling, destroying all helmets in PBS Kids Neighborhood)
  • Diesel: His chops are too righteous! The helmets can't handle this level of Rock and Roll! Mavis, do something!
  • Mavis: (Crowd surfing) Wheeeeeee! Ahahaaa!!
  • Zeebad: Argh! Alright, that's the last straw! Mufasa, I command you to- (Diesel gets cut off as a laser destroys Pig's helmet)
  • Kiara: (Holding the crown) Here you go, Mufasa.
  • Zeebad: I better get out of here.
  • (Zeebad runs for the door, when he is suddenly blocked by a mass of fish)
  • Count Von Count: Look! It's the wizard who saved us!
  • Zeebad: Out of my way, fools! (The people trample over Zeebad, storming Jack's restaurant as he cries out in pain)
  • Zeebad: (He is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. Bill pick him up and put him in a cage) Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the big monuments...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? (His cage is put in a police car, which drives away) I will destroy all of you! (Everyone that was watching)
  • Mufasa: Well, Kiara, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of the sea one day. Now, let's go home. (Turns to leave, but is stopped by Kiara)
  • Kiara: Mufasa, haven't you forgotten something?
  • Mufasa: Huh? What? Oh, uh... Oh, yeah. Jack, I forgot to unfreeze you.
  • Elmo: What the...?
  • Mufasa: Oops. I guess I had it set to "real boy" ending. (Sets it right) Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, Jack. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employ such a brave, faithful, and heroic big young lad. Where is he, anyway?
  • Big Bird: I'm up here. (We see him hanging from ropes)
  • Woody: I'm on it. (Gets Big Bird down)
  • Mufasa: Go to him now, Big Bird. Embrace him. (Jack walks over to Big Bird)
  • Jack: Big Bird, me boy. I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.
  • Big Bird: Oh, Jack, you old soft-serve. (They hug)
  • Big Bird: And now, Big Bird, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. Mr. Matt! Front and center, please. (Matt comes) I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin. (Looks at Big Bird)
  • Matt: I couldn't agree more, sir.
  • The Cat in The Hat: Hooray for Big Bird!
  • (Cheering)
  • Big Bird: Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
  • Matt: I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
  • Big Bird: Are you crazy? (Grabs manager pin) I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down! (Matt's eyes widen) Manager, this is the greatest day of my life! (The credits begin rolling as songs play)
  • Captain: You know. Rex Dasher is a great artist.
  • Usher: Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
  • Pirates: (groans)
  • Captain: What? Say that again, if you dare. (Points his sword at her)
  • Parrot: Squawk.
  • Usher: You folks have to leave.
  • Captain: Okay.
  • (Everyone leaves the theater)
  • Pirate: Sorry about that.
  • (The usher sweeps up the popcorn, humming and the PBS Kids and Lionsgate logo appears and then fades out)
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