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  • [20th Century Fox logo, Blue Sky Studios logo and DreamWorks logo]
  • [first lines]
  • Knuckles: [as narrator] "Once upon a time, there was Sam Sparks. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible Pokemon named Groudon. Many brave Greebles had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in Groudon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." [tears a book page, laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of...
  • [the music begins "All-Star" by Smash Mouth playing, then getting out, revealing the title card, then going the cast, then the Troublesome Trucks go out, then they grab their weapons, then Knuckles breathes fire at the fireplace, then Knuckles looks at the Troublesome Trucks going down, then they go after the echidna, then Knuckles walks down to the Troublesome Trucks]
  • Troublesome Truck 1: Think it's in there?
  • Troublesome Truck 2: All right. Let's get it!
  • Troublesome Truck 1: Whoa! Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you?
  • Troublesome Truck 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
  • Knuckles: [sneaking up on the trucks, laughing] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, echidnas, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshley peeled skin.
  • Troublesome Truck 4: No!
  • Knuckles: They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
  • Troublesome Truck 4: [waves his torch in front of Knuckles] Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
  • [Knuckles licks hisi fingers, extinguishing the torch like a match, rinsing the fire out]
  • Troublesome Truck 4: Right.
  • [Knuckles roars at the Troublesome Trucks, then they scream, then they stop screaming]
  • Knuckles: [to the Troublesome Trucks, whispering] This is the part where you run away.
  • [the Troublesome Trucks scarper off]
  • Knuckles: [sees the Troublesome Trucks scarping off, laughing] And stay out! [picks up a paper, saying "WANTED: FAIRY TALE CREATURES REWARD", reading it] "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." [walks away, sighing, throwing the paper away]
  • Boggan 1: All right. This one's full! Take him away!
  • [the Sesame Street characters walk down]
  • Boggan 2: Move it along. Come on! Get up!
  • El Macho: Next!
  • Ivan: Give me that! [breaks the broom in half] Your flying days are over.
  • El Macho: That's 20 pieces of silver for Yuko. Next!
  • Boggan 3: Get up!
  • El Macho: 20 pieces.
  • Boggan 3: Come on!
  • [BJ looks at the crayons closing the door]
  • Boggan 4: Sit down there! Keep quiet!
  • Littlefoot: [crying] This cage is too small.
  • BJ: Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
  • Cassidy: Oh, shut up.
  • BJ: Oh!
  • El Macho: Next! What have you got?
  • Clovis: This little wooden puppet.
  • Fred: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. [grows his nose]
  • El Macho: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
  • Fred: Father, please! Don't let him do this!
  • [Clovis takes his money, walking off, then Cassidy steps in]
  • El Macho: Next!
  • Fred: Help!
  • El Macho: What have you got?
  • Cassidy: Well, I've got a talking dinosaur.
  • El Macho: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
  • Cassidy: Oh, go ahead, little fella.
  • El Macho: Well?
  • Cassidy: Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt!
  • El Macho: That's it. I've heard enough. Crayons!
  • Cassidy: No, no, he talks! He does! [moves his lips] I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
  • El Macho: [to Cassidy, annoyed] Get her out of my sight.
  • Cassidy: No, no, I swear!
  • [clip of Cassidy and Butch exploding, sending the guys flying away]
  • Butch: Cassidy, do you have a strange feeling of deja vu?
  • Cassidy: If you mean we've seen this vu before, then yes!
  • Both: Blasting off again!
  • [they disappear into the sky]
  • Cassidy: [kicking the cage] He can talk!
  • [the cage hits BJ]
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Hey! I can fly!
  • Clemont: He can fly!
  • All: He can fly!
  • El Macho: He can talk!
  • BJ: Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying talking dinosaur! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a dinosaur fly! Ha, ha!
  • [the pixie dust wears off BJ, then starting to fall to the ground]
  • BJ: Uh-oh. [falls to the ground]
  • El Macho: Seize him!
  • [the crayons try to get BJ, then BJ runs away]
  • Boggan 5: After him! He's getting away!
  • [BJ runs down, hitting Knuckles]
  • Boggan 6: Get him! This way! Turn!
  • [they all run to Knuckles and BJ]
  • El Macho: You there! Echidna!
  • Knuckles: Aye?
  • El Macho: By the order of Balthazar Bratt... [opens the scroll, showing the Rubix cube] ...I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a desginated resettlement facility.
  • Knuckles: Oh, really? You and what army?
  • [they both look at the stuff falling down, then El Macho runs away, then BJ walks down to Knuckles]
  • BJ: Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really something back there. Incredible!
  • Knuckles: Are you talkin' to... [looks around] ...me? [looks at BJ]
  • BJ: Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you was great back there? Those crayons! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
  • Knuckles: Oh, that's great. Really.
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Man, it's good to be free.
  • Knuckles: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
  • BJ: But, uh, I don't have any friends, and I'm not going out ther by myself. [clip of jumping up and down] Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
  • [Knuckles looks at BJ, roaring at him]
  • BJ: Oh, wow! That was really scary! If you don't mind me saying, your breath certainly will get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...
  • [Knuckles covers BJ's mouth]
  • BJ: ...then I ate some rotten berries. Man, I had strong gases eeking out of my butt that day.
  • Knuckles: Why are you following me?
  • BJ: I'll tell you why. [singing] 'Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me! My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me! But you gotta have friends!
  • Knuckles: Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
  • BJ: Wow. Only a truly friend would be that honest.
  • Knuckles: Listen, little BJ. Take a look at me. What am I?
  • BJ: [looks at Knuckles] Uh, really tall?
  • Knuckles: No! I'm an echidna. You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?
  • BJ: Nope.
  • Knuckles: Really?
  • BJ: Really, really.
  • Knuckles: Oh.
  • BJ: Man, I like you. What's your name?
  • Knuckles: Um, Knuckles.
  • BJ: Knuckles? Well, you know what I like abut you, Brock? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Knuckles. You all right?
  • [they see the house]
  • BJ: Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that?
  • Knuckles: That would be my home.
  • BJ: Oh, and it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. [sees a boulder] I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. [follows Knuckles] I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
  • Knuckles: I like my privacy.
  • BJ: You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence, you know. [awkward silence] Can I stay with you?
  • Knuckles: Uh, what?
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Can I stay with you, please?
  • Knuckles: Of course!
  • BJ: Really?
  • Knuckles: No.
  • BJ: Please! I don't want to go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! [looks at Knuckles] Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please!
  • Knuckles: [clip of fighting Bowling Spin] Okay! Okay! [opens the door] But one night only.
  • BJ: Ah! Thank you! [runs inside]
  • Knuckles: What are you? No! No!
  • BJ: [goes on a chair] This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles.
  • [Knuckles growls]
  • BJ: Where do, uh, I sleep?
  • Knuckles: [irritated] Outside!
  • BJ: Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is the best, you know. Here I go. Good night.
  • [Brock slams the door]
  • BJ: I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a BJ. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside. I guess, you know. By myself, outside. [singing] I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me.
  • [cut to night, with Knuckles getting ready for dinner, then getting the candle out of the earwax out of the ear, then starting to eat, hearing the noise]
  • Knuckles: I thought I told you to stay outside.
  • BJ: I am outside.
  • [Knuckles spots Treecko, Torchic and Mudkip appearing at the table]
  • Treecko: [clip of jumping up and down on Pokemon Camp] Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?
  • Torchic: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] It's not home, but it'll do just fine.
  • Mudkip: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] What a lovely bed.
  • Knuckles: Got ya. [grabs Mudkip]
  • Mudkip: I found some cheese. [bites Knuckles]
  • Knuckles: Ow!
  • Mudkip: Bleah! Awful stuff.
  • Treecko: Is that you, Mudkip?
  • Mudkip: How dod you know?
  • Knuckles: [grabs Treecko, Torchic, and Mudkip] Enough! What are you doing in my house?
  • [the Sesame Street characters push Misty on the table]
  • Knuckles: Hey!
  • [the Sesame Street characters look at Knuckles]
  • Knuckles: Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
  • Big Bird: [clip of jumping up and down] Where are supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
  • Knuckles: [looks at Wince] Huh?
  • Wince: [clip of jumping up and down] What?
  • Knuckles: I live in a swamp. I put up signs! I'm a terrifying echidna! What do I have to do to get a little privacy? [throws Wince out, screaming] Oh, no. [looks at some characters] Oh, no. No!
  • [the witches pass by Knuckles, then they zoom away]
  • Knuckles: No! [jumps down]
  • [the witches zoom away]
  • Knuckles: What?
  • Kate: Quit it.
  • Baby Bop: Don't push.
  • [Proteus plays the flute, then Littlefoot cries]
  • Knuckles: What are you doing in my swamp? [echoing] Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
  • [they all gasp, then Lucy, Cleo and ??? go inside]
  • Cleo: Oh, dear!
  • Cookie Monster: Whoa!
  • Knuckles: All right, get out of here! All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya, hapaya! Hey!
  • Grover: Quickly! Come on!
  • [the Sesame Street characters go inside the house]
  • Knuckles: No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. [runs to the door, shaking it]
  • BJ: Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
  • Fred: Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
  • Knuckles: What?
  • Fred: We were forced to come here.
  • Knuckles: By who?
  • Squirtle: Balthazar Bratt. [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] He huffed and he puffed and he signed an eviction notice.
  • Knuckles: [sighs] All right. Who knows where this Bratt guy is?
  • [they all look around]
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Oh, I do! I know where he is!
  • Knuckles: Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
  • BJ: Me! Me!
  • Knuckles: Anyone?
  • BJ: Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me! Me!
  • Knuckles: [sighs] Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Bratt right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
  • [they all cheer]
  • Knuckles: [to BJ] You! You're coming with me.
  • BJ: All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Knuckles and BJ, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big city adventure. I love it! [singing] On the road again! Sing it with me, Knuckles. [singing] I can't wait to get on the road again!
  • Knuckles: What did I say about singing?
  • BJ: Can I whistle?
  • Knuckles: No.
  • BJ: Can I hum it?
  • Knuckles: All right, hum it.
  • [they both walk down, then cut to the kitchen, with Bratt walking down, then James pours milk, then Bratt walks inside]
  • Bratt: That's enough! He's ready to talk.
  • [Elmo lifts out of the milk, laying down, then Bratt laughs]
  • Bratt: Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the ??? man!
  • ???: [clip with the ball bouncing on the head] You're a monster.
  • Bratt: I'm not the monster here. You and the rest of the fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me! Where are the others?
  • ???: Eat me! [spits at Bratt]
  • Bratt: I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll...
  • ???: No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
  • Bratt: All right, then. Who's hiding them?
  • ???: Okay, I'll tell you. [reciting the Nursery Rhyme] Do you know the muffin man?
  • Bratt: The muffin man?
  • Axew: [clip with the ball bouncing on the head] The muffin man.
  • Bratt: Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?
  • Axew: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] Well, she's married to the muffin man.
  • Bratt: The muffin man?
  • Axew: [clip with the ball bouncing on the head, screaming] The muffin man!
  • Bratt: She's married to the muffin man.
  • El Macho: My lord! We found it.
  • Bratt: Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
  • [El Macho puts Vector on the hook]
  • Axew: [in awe] Oh!
  • Bratt: Vector the Crocodile.
  • Axew: Don't tell him anything!
  • [Bratt puts Axew in the trash can]
  • Axew: No! [whimpering]
  • Bratt: Evening. Crocodile, crocodile on the wall. Is this not the perfect kingdom of them all?
  • Vector: [clip of jumping up and down] Well, technically, you're not a king.
  • Bratt: Uh, James.
  • [James punches the mirror]
  • Bratt: You were saying?
  • Vector: What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry Sam Sparks.
  • Bratt: Go on.
  • Vector: So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome May. [shows picture of May] Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not dead. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Misty! [shows a picture of Misty] And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a firey redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing Sam Sparks! [shows a picture of Sam Sparks] So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?
  • All: Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three?
  • Bratt: Three? One? Three?
  • James: Three! [holds up his fingers] Pick number three, my lord!
  • Bratt: Okay, okay, uh, number three!
  • Vector: [clip of winning in 1st place in Mario and Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games] Balthazar Bratt, you've chosen Sam Sparks.
  • [the music begins "Escape" playing]
  • Bratt: Sam Sparks. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...
  • Vector: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
  • Bratt: I'll do it.
  • Vector: Yes, but after sunset.
  • Bratt: Silence! I will make this Sam Sparks my queen, and Chemical Plant will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
  • [cut to Knuckles and BJ, going to Chemical Plant]
  • BJ: But that's it. That's it right there. That's Chemical Plant. I told you I'd find it.
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking Bowling Spin boss] So, that must be Balthazar Bratt's castle.
  • BJ: Uh-huh. That's the place.
  • Knuckles: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? [laughing]
  • BJ: Hey, wait. Wait up, Knuckles.
  • [they look at Fire Breath]
  • Man: Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
  • Knuckles: [to Fire Breath] Hey, you!
  • [Rat screams, running away]
  • Knuckles: Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat ya. I just... I just... [sighs]
  • [Rat continues running away, bumping on the wall, then they look at Rat, then they walk down, then they look around]
  • Knuckles: It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody.
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Hey, look at this! [pulls the lever]
  • Clockwork Chorus: Welcome to Chemical Plant, such a perfect town! Here we have some rules, let us lay them down! Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get alone fine! Chemical Plant is a perfect place! Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your face! Chemical Plant is... Chemical Plant is... Chemical Plant is a perfect place!
  • [the photo booth takes a picture of Knuckles and BJ, saying "WELCOME TO DULOC"]
  • BJ: Wow! Let's do that again! [runs down]
  • Knuckles: [grabs BJ, holding him still] No! No! No, no, no! No!
  • [they hear fanfare]
  • Bratt: Brave Greebles. Your are the best and brightest in all of the land. Today you shall prove himself...
  • [they both walk down]
  • BJ: Ready or not, here I come! Whoa! Check it out! The arena!
  • Knuckles: All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
  • BJ: Sorry about that.
  • [they both walk in the arena]
  • Bratt: That champion shall have the honor, no, no, the privilege, to go forth and rescue the lovely Sam Sparks from the firey keep of Groudon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
  • [they all cheer]
  • Bratt: Let the tournament begin! Oh! What is that? It's hideous!
  • Knuckles: [looks at BJ] Oh, that's not very nice. It's just BJ.
  • Bratt: Indeed. Greebles, new plan! The one who kills the echidna will be named champion! Have at him!
  • Men: Get him!
  • Knuckles: [clip of getting the Master Emerald in Red Mountain] Oh, hey! Now come on. Hang on now. [bumps on the table]
  • Crowd: Go ahead! Get him!
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking Bowling Spin] Can't we just settle this over a pint?
  • Crowd: Kill the beast!
  • Knuckles: No? All right, then. [drinks beer] Come on!
  • [the music begins "Bad Reputation" by Halfcocked playing, spilling on the Greebles with mud, then Knuckles slides down, attacking the Greebles, then BJ knocks the Greebles with a barrel, breaking free]
  • Greeble: Damn!
  • [Knuckles continues fighting them down]
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Hey, Knuckles, tag me! Tag me!
  • [Knuckles comes over, banging on BJ's head on BJ's, then Knuckles gets up on the ropes]
  • Knuckles: Ah! [laughing] Yeah! [attacks the Greeble]
  • Marina: The chair! Give him the chair!
  • [Knuckles gets up, grabbing a chair]
  • Dawn: All right!
  • [Knuckles continues fighting the Greebles, then BJ attacks the Greeble]
  • Knuckles: Oh, yeah! [flexing his muscles] Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here until Thursday. Try the veal!
  • [the Greebles aim at Knuckles and BJ]
  • Grings Kodai: Shall I give him the order, sir?
  • Bratt: No, I have a better idea. People of Chemical Plant, I give you our champion!
  • Knuckles: What?
  • Bratt: Congratulations, ehidna. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.
  • Knuckles: Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
  • Bratt: Your swamp?
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking the Screw Mobile boss] Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures!
  • Bratt: Indeed. All right, echidna. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
  • Knuckles: Exactly the way it was?
  • Bratt: Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
  • Knuckles: And the squatters?
  • Bratt: As good as gone.
  • Knuckles: What kind of quest?
  • [cut to the flower field]
  • BJ: Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight Groudon and rescue Sam Sparks just so Bratt will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
  • Knuckles: You know, maybe there's a good reason dinosaurs shouldn't talk.
  • BJ: I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that echidna stuff off of him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole echidna trip.
  • Knuckles: Oh, I know that. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village, and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink fluids. Does that sound good to you?
  • BJ: Uh, no, not really, no.
  • Knuckles: For your information, there's a lot more to echidnas than people think.
  • BJ: Example?
  • Knuckles: Example? Okay, um, echidnas are like onions. [holds out an onion]
  • BJ: [sniffs the onion] They stink?
  • Knuckles: Yes. No!
  • BJ: Oh, they make you cry?
  • Knuckles: No!
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Oh, you leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little hairs.
  • Knuckles: No! Layers! Onions have layers. Echidnas have layers. You get it? We both have layers! [walks off]
  • BJ: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. [sniffs the onion] You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
  • Knuckles: I don't care what everyone likes. Echidnas are not like cakes.
  • BJ: You know what everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Hey, let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
  • Knuckles: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Echidnas are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See you later!
  • BJ: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole stupid planet.
  • Knuckles: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
  • BJ: Do you have a tissue or something? Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.
  • [the music begins "I'm On My Way" by The Proclaimers playing, then they walk down, then they walk under the moon, then Knuckles touches the fire, burning his foot, then BJ presses to get Knuckles' fire out, then they continue walking down]
  • BJ: Ohh! Knuckles! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything.
  • Knuckles: Believe me, BJ, if it was me, you'd be dead. [sniffing] It's brimstone. We must be getting close.
  • BJ: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone either.
  • [they both look at the castle]
  • Knuckles: Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. [laughing]
  • BJ: Uh, Knuckles? Uh, remember when you said echidnas have layers?
  • Knuckles: Oh, aye.
  • BJ: Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Dinosaurs don't have layers. We wear fear right out there on our sleeves.
  • Knuckles: Wait a second. Dinosaurs don't have sleeves.
  • BJ: You know what I mean.
  • Knuckles: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
  • BJ: No, I'm just uncomfortable on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
  • Knuckles: Come on, BJ. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support, we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.
  • BJ: Really?
  • Knuckles: Really, really.
  • BJ: Oh, that makes me feel so much better.
  • Knuckles: Just keep moving. And don't look down.
  • BJ: Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. [breaks the ledge] Knuckles! I'm looking down! Ah! God! I can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!
  • Knuckles: But you're already halfway.
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Yeah, but I know that half is safe!
  • Knuckles: Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.
  • BJ: Knuckles, no! Wait!
  • Knuckles: Just, BJ. Come on. Let's have a dance then, shall we? [bouncing and swaying that]
  • BJ: Don't do that!
  • Knuckles: Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? [bouncing again]
  • BJ: Yes, that!
  • Knuckles: Yes? Yes, do it? Okay. [continues crossing down]
  • BJ: [screaming] No, Knuckles! No! Stop it!
  • Knuckles: You said do it! I'm doing it.
  • BJ: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Knuckles, I'm gonna die.
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking Bowling Spin] That'll do, BJ. That'll do.
  • BJ: Cool. So where is the fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway.
  • Knuckles: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
  • BJ: I was talking about Groudon, Knuckles.
  • [cut inside]
  • BJ: You afraid?
  • Knuckles: No, but, shh.
  • BJ: Oh, good. Me neither. [runs down] 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation, I might add. With Groudon that breathes fire and eats Greebles and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared, you know what I mean. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
  • Knuckles: BJ, two things, okay? Shut up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
  • BJ: Stairs? I thought we was looking for Sam Sparks.
  • Knuckles: Sam Sparks will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] What makes you think she'll be there?
  • Knuckles: I read it in a book once.
  • BJ: Cool. You handle Groudon, I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. [goes inside] I'm gonna take darastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it.
  • Knuckles: [walks down] Well, at least we know where Sam Sparks is, but where's the...
  • BJ: GROUDON! [runs away]
  • Knuckles: BJ, look out! [ducks by the fire]
  • [BJ ducks under the fire]
  • Knuckles: [grabs Groudon] Gotcha!
  • [BJ runs away]
  • Knuckles: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [flies to the tower, screaming, falling down by Sam Sparks]
  • [cut to Groudon, roaring by BJ, breaking the pieces, then he watches Groudon appearing]
  • BJ: No. Oh, no. No!
  • [Groudon roars]
  • BJ: Oh, what large teeth you have.
  • [Groudon roars at BJ]
  • BJ: I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time of your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dazzling smile you got there. And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're... You're Groudon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're Groudon! You're just reeking a feminine beauty. What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?
  • [Groudon spits heart out]
  • BJ: Oh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh... I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow some rings and stuff. Knuckles!
  • [Groudon picks Knuckles up]
  • BJ: No! Knuckles! Knuckles! Knuckles!
  • [cut to Spike, getting up]
  • Sam Sparks: Oh! Oh!
  • Spike: [wakes up Sam Sparks] Wake up! Are you Sam Sparks?
  • Sam Sparks: I am, awaiting a spiketail so bold as to rescue me.
  • Spike: Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
  • Sam Sparks: But wait, Spike. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful romantic moment?
  • Spike: [cliip of looking at Ducky jumping around] Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
  • Sam Sparks: Hey, wait. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet, out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
  • Spike: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
  • Sam Sparks: Mm-hmm.
  • [they both run downstairs]
  • Sam Sparks: But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
  • Spike: I don't think so.
  • Sam Sparks: Can I at least know the name of my champion?
  • Spike: Um, Spike.
  • Sam Sparks: Sir Spike. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
  • Spike: [takes a handkerchief] Thanks!
  • [they hear Groudon roar]
  • Sam Sparks: You didn't slay Groudon?
  • Spike: It's on my to-do list. Now come on! [grabs Sam Sparks]
  • Sam Sparks: But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other Greebles did.
  • Spike: Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
  • Sam Sparks: That's not the point.
  • [Spike stops Sam Sparks]
  • Sam Sparks: Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there.
  • Spike: Well, I have to save my ass.
  • Sam Sparks: What kind of spiketail are you?
  • Spike: One of a kind. [goes inside]
  • BJ: Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned, you know. [looks at Groudon] I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh... Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing?
  • [Groudon blows fire out]
  • BJ: Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or maybe even his pen pals. Because I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards and... I'd really love to stay, but... Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission to... Wait. What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no! No! Oh!
  • [Spike swings down, looking at BJ, then climbing up, looking at the chandelier, breaking it, then Groudon kisses Spike, then Spike releases the chain, then the chandelier hits Groudon, then they run upstairs, then they job down, grabbing Sam Sparks]
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Hi, Sam Sparks!
  • Sam Sparks: It talks!
  • Spike: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
  • [they all look down]
  • BJ: Spike!
  • [they all scream, then they slide down, then Spike bumps the pole, then they continue running away by Groudon, then they look at Groudon breathing fire]
  • Spike: [drops them down] Okay, you two, head for the exit! [takes his sword out] I'll take care of Groudon. [puts his sword down] RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
  • [they all run away by Groudon, then the bridge breaks, then BJ looks at Groudon, then Sam screams, then they all look at Groudon, then they climb up]
  • Sam Sparks: [slides down] You did it! You rescued me!
  • [BJ falls down]
  • Sam Sparks: You're amazing. You're wonderful. You're... [looks at Spike falling down] ...a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
  • [BJ clears throat]
  • Sam Sparks: And where would a brave spiketail be without his normal steed?
  • BJ: I hope you heard that. She called me a steed. She think I'm a steed.
  • Sam Sparks: The battle is won. You may remove your spiketail disguise, Spike.
  • Spike: Uh, no.
  • Sam Sparks: Why not?
  • Spike: I have helmet hair.
  • Sam Sparks: Please, I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
  • Spike: No, no, you wouldn't, 'st.
  • Sam Sparks: But how wll you kiss me?
  • Spike: What? [to BJ] That wasn't in the job description.
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Maybe it's a perk.
  • Sam Sparks: No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A woman locked in a tower and beset by Groudon is rescued by Spike, and then they share true love's kiss.
  • BJ: Hmm? With Knuckles? You think Knuckles is your true love?
  • Sam Sparks: Well, yes.
  • [they both laugh]
  • BJ: You think Knuckles is your true love!
  • Sam Sparks: What is so funny?
  • Spike: [clip of Ducky saying the line of "Well, I say yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And what about you, Spike?"] Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?
  • Sam Sparks: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now remove your spiketail disguise.
  • Spike: Look, I really don't think this is a good idea.
  • Sam Sparks: Just take off the helmet.
  • Spike: I'm not going to.
  • Sam Sparks: Take it off!
  • Spike: No!
  • Sam Sparks: NOW!
  • Spike: Okay! Easy. As you command, Your Highness. [takes the spiketail disguise off, revealing Knuckles]
  • Sam Sparks: You... You're a... an echidna.
  • Knuckles: Oh, you were expecting Tzekel-Kan.
  • Sam Sparks: Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an echidna.
  • Knuckles: Sam Sparks, I was sent to rescue you by Balthazar Bratt, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you.
  • Sam Sparks: Then why didn't he come rescue me?
  • Knuckles: Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
  • Sam Sparks: But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some echidna and his... his pet.
  • BJ: Well, so much for a noble steed.
  • Knuckles: You're not making my job easier.
  • Sam Sparks: I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Balthazar Bratt that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right there.
  • Knuckles: Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? [picks up Sam Sparks]
  • Sam Sparks: You wouldn't dare. Agh! Put me down!
  • Knuckles: You coming, BJ?
  • BJ: I'm right behind ya.
  • Sam Sparks: Agh! Put me down, or you wil suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! Argh!
  • [cut to the forest]
  • BJ: Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't, but you don't get burned to crisp and eaten?
  • Sam Sparks: You just tell her she's not our true love. Everyone knows that what happens when you find your...
  • [Brock drops Sam Sparks down]
  • Sam Sparks: Hey! The sooner we get to Chemical Plant the better.
  • BJ: You're gonna love it there, Sam Sparks. It's beautiful!
  • Sam Sparks: And what of my groom-to-be? Balthazar Bratt? What's he like?
  • Knuckles: Let me put it this way, Sam Sparks. Men of Bratt's stature are in short supply.
  • [they both laugh, then Knuckles wipes off his face]
  • BJ: I don't know. There are those who think little of him.
  • [they both laugh again]
  • Sam Sparks: Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Balthazar Bratt.
  • Knuckles: Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Sam Sparks. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
  • Sam Sparks: Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
  • Knuckles: No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
  • Sam Sparks: But there's robbers in the woods.
  • BJ: Whoa! Time out, Knuckles! Camp is starting to sound good.
  • 'Knuckles: Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest.
  • Sam Sparks: I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!
  • [cut to the mountain]
  • Knuckles: Hey! Over here.
  • BJ: Knuckles, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for Sam Sparks.
  • Sam Sparks: No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
  • Knuckles: Homey touches? Like what? [hears Sam Sparks taking off a tree]
  • Sam Sparks: A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
  • BJ: You want me to read a bedtime story? I will.
  • Sam Sparks: I said, good night!
  • [Knuckles looks at BJ]
  • BJ: Knuckles, what are you doing?
  • Knuckles: I just... You know... Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
  • [cut to night]
  • Knuckles: And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only echidna to to ever spit over three wheat fields.
  • BJ: Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from the stars?
  • Knuckles: The stars don't tell the future, BJ. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
  • BJ: I know you're making this up.
  • Knuckles: No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench.
  • BJ: That ain't nothing but a bunch of little dots.
  • Knuckles: You know, BJ, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it.
  • BJ: [sighs] Hey, Knuckles, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
  • Knuckles: Our swamp?
  • BJ: Yeah, when we're through rescuing Sam Sparks.
  • Knuckles: We? BJ, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
  • BJ: You cut me deep, Knuckles. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.
  • Knuckles: Now, do ya think?
  • BJ: Are you hiding something?
  • Knuckles: Never mind, BJ.
  • BJ: Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
  • Knuckles: No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
  • BJ: Why don't you want to talk about it?
  • Knuckles: Why do you want to talk about it?
  • BJ: Why are you blocking?
  • Knuckles: I'm not blocking!
  • BJ: Oh, yes, you are.
  • Knuckles: BJ, I'm warning you.
  • BJ: Why you trying to keep me out?
  • Knuckles: Everyone! Okay?
  • BJ: Oh, now we're getting somwhere.
  • [Rouge looks at Knuckles and BJ]
  • Knuckles: Oh, for the love of Pete! [sits down]
  • BJ: What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking Hamg Mobile] Look, I'm not the only one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have the problem with me. People take one look at me and go, "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly echidna!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
  • [Rouge puts the door back]
  • BJ: You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was a big, stupid, ugly echidna.
  • Knuckles: Yeah, I know.
  • BJ: So, uh, are there any BJs up there?
  • Knuckles: Well, um, there's um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
  • BJ: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
  • Knuckles: That's the moon.
  • BJ: Oh, okay.
  • [cut to the bedroom, zooming into Bratt]
  • Bratt: Again, again, show me again. [rewinds it] Crocodile, crocodile, show her to me. Show her Sam Sparks.
  • [Vector reveals Sam Sparks]
  • Bratt: Ah, perfect.
  • [cut to Sam Sparks, walking down, looking at them sleeping, then Sam Sparks walks to Big Icedus, then she sings the song to the Big Icedus, then she continues singing to the Big Icedus, then she continues singing, then the continues singing again, then singing again, then Big Icedus explodes, then she looks at Big Icedus, then the eggs transition into the yolks]
  • BJ: Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. Come on, baby. I said I like it.
  • Knuckles: BJ, wake up.
  • BJ: Huh? What?
  • Knuckles: Wake up.
  • BJ: What?
  • Sam Sparks: Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
  • BJ: Oh, good morning, Sam Sparks!
  • [Sam Sparks gets up]
  • Knuckles: What's this all about?
  • Sam Sparks: You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
  • Knuckles: Uh, thanks.
  • [BJ sniffs]
  • Sam Sparks: Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
  • [they walk down, then Knuckles belches]
  • BJ: Knuckles!
  • Knuckles: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. [laughing]
  • BJ: Well, it's no way to behave in front of Sam Sparks.
  • [Sam Sparks burps]
  • Sam Sparks: Thanks.
  • BJ: She's as nasty as you are.
  • Knuckles: You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
  • Sam Sparks: Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. [walks down, singing]
  • CGI Clown: La liberte! Hey! [grabs Sam Sparks]
  • Sam Sparks: What are you doing?
  • CGI Clown: [clip of the CGI pink ball bouncing to CGI Clown, building a shape tower] Be still, mon cherie, for I am your savior! and I am rescuing you from this green... [kisses Sam Sparks] ...beast.
  • Knuckles: Hey, that's Sam Sparks! Go find your own!
  • CGI Clown: Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
  • Sam Sparks: Look, pal, I don't think who you are!
  • CGI Clown: Oh, of course! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself. Oh, CGI Crayons!
  • [the CGI Crayons appear, then they dance]
  • CGI Crayons: Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo!
  • CGI Clown: I steal from the rich and give it to the needy!
  • CGI Crayons: He takes a wee percentage!
  • CGI Clown: But I'm not pretty! I rescue pretty damsels, man, I'm down!
  • CGI Crayons: What a guy, CGI Clown!
  • CGI Clown: Break it down.
  • [they all dance]
  • CGI Clown: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid!
  • CGI Crayons: What he's basically saying is he likes to get...
  • CGI Clown: Paid! So, when an echidna in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. That's bad.
  • CGI Crayons: That's bad.
  • CGI Clown: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad.
  • CGI Crayons: He's mad, he's really, really mad.
  • CGI Clown: I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart, keep your eyes on me, boys, 'cause I'm about to start!
  • Sam Sparks: [hits CGI Clown] Man, that was annoying!
  • Orange CGI Crayon: [clip of drawing a circle] Oh, you little... [aims an arrow at them]
  • Sam Sparks: [attacks the CGI Crayons, then running down, punching the crayons, then jumping up, kicking them, then running around, punching the crayon, then punching more crayons] Um, shall we?
  • Knuckles: Hold the phone. [drops BJ] Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
  • Sam Sparks: What?
  • Knuckles: That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
  • Sam Sparks: Well... [laughing] ...when no one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a... [points at Knuckles] There's an arrow in your butt!
  • Knuckles: What? [looks at the arrow] Oh, would you look at that? [tries to pull]
  • Sam Sparks: Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
  • BJ: Why? What's wrong?
  • Sam Sparks: Knuckles' hurt.
  • BJ: Knuckles' hurt. Knuckles' hurt? Oh, no, Knuckles' gonna die.
  • Knuckles: BJ, I'm okay.
  • BJ: You can't do this to me, Knuckles. I'm to young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough? Does anyone know the heimlich?
  • Sam Sparks: BJ! Calm down. If you want to help Knuckles, run into the woods and look for blue flower, red thorns.
  • BJ: Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
  • Both: BJ!
  • BJ: Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. [runs away]
  • Knuckles: What are the flowers for?
  • Sam Sparks: For getting rid of BJ.
  • Knuckles: Ah!
  • Sam Sparks: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. [gives the arrow a pull]
  • Knuckles: Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
  • Sam Sparks: I'm sorry, but this has to come out.
  • Knuckles: No, it's tender.
  • Sam Sparks: Now, hold on.
  • Knuckles: What you're doing is the opposite of help.
  • Sam Sparks: Don't move.
  • Knuckles: Look, time out.
  • Sam Sparks: Would you... [tries to get the arrow out] Okay. What do you propose to do?
  • [cut to BJ]
  • BJ: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
  • Knuckles: Ow!
  • BJ: Hold on, Knuckles! I'm coming!
  • Knuckles: Ow! Not good.
  • Sam Sparks: Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
  • [Brock grunts]
  • Sam Sparks: It's just about...
  • Knuckles: Ow! Ohh!
  • [BJ clears throat]
  • Knuckles: Nothing happened. We were just, uh...
  • BJ: Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
  • Knuckles: Oh, come on! That's the last thing in my mind. Sam Sparks here was just...
  • [Sam Sparks pulls the arrow out]
  • Knuckles: Ugh! [looks at Sam Sparks, holding an arrow] Ow!
  • BJ: Hey, what's that? [nervous chuckle] That's... Is that blood? [lays down]
  • [the music begins "My Beloved Monster" by Eels playing, then they walk down, then Sam Sparks walks on the tree, catapulting BJ, flying away, then they walk down, then Sam Sparks makes the web into cotton candy, then they walk down, then Knuckles blows the frog to make a balloon, then Sam Sparks blows a snake to make a balloon, then they both walk down, releasing the balloons]
  • Sam Sparks: Hey!
  • [they all look at Chemical Plant]
  • Sam Sparks: That's Chemical Plant?
  • BJ: Yeah, I know. You know, Knuckles thinks that Balthazar Bratt's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really...
  • [Knuckles steps on BJ]
  • BJ: Ow!
  • Knuckles: Um, I, uh, I guess we better move on.
  • Sam Sparks: Sure. But, Knuckles? I'm worried about BJ.
  • Knuckles: What?
  • Sam Sparks: I mean, look at him. He doesn't look good.
  • BJ: What are you talking about? I'm fine.
  • Sam Sparks: That's when you always, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. [pause] Dead.
  • Knuckles: You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
  • Sam Sparks: Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
  • BJ: I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge, and when I turn my head like this, look... [turns his head] Ow! See?
  • Knuckles: Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
  • Sam Sparks: I'll get the firewood.
  • BJ: Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! [looks down] I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug.
  • [cut to the fireplace]
  • Sam Sparks: Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
  • Knuckles: Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style.
  • Sam Sparks: No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
  • Knuckles: Well, they're also in great stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew.
  • [Sam Sparks looks at chemical plant]
  • Sam Sparks: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
  • Knuckles: Maybe you can visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp food stuff, fish eye tartare, you name it.
  • Sam Sparks: I'd like that.
  • [they both smile]
  • Knuckles: Um, Sam Sparks?
  • Sam Sparks: Yes, Knuckles?
  • Knuckles: I, um, I was wondering, are you... [sighing] Are you gonna eat that?
  • BJ: [chuckles] Man, isn't that romantic? Just look at that sunset.
  • Sam Sparks: [gets up] Sunset? Oh, no! I mean, it's late. It's very late.
  • Knuckles: What?
  • BJ: Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. [clip of jumping up and down] You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
  • Sam Sparks: Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.
  • BJ: Don't feel bad, Sam Sparks. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
  • [Knuckles sighs]
  • Sam Sparks: Good night.
  • Knuckles: Good night.
  • [Sam Sparks goes inside, transforming into Rouge]
  • BJ: Oh, now I see what's going on here.
  • Knuckles: Oh, what are you talkin' about?
  • BJ: I don't wanna even hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were digging on each other. I could feel it.
  • Knuckles: You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Bratt.
  • BJ: Oh, come on, Knuckles. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel.
  • Knuckles: I... There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know, and I'm not saying I do 'cause I don't, she's Sam Sparks, and I'm...
  • BJ: An echidna?
  • Knuckles: Yeah. An echidna.
  • BJ: Hey, where you goin'?
  • Knuckles: To get more firewood.
  • [BJ looks at Knuckles, then BJ goes inside]
  • BJ: [looks around] Rouge? Rouge? Rouge, where are you? Rouge?
  • [Rouge walks up]
  • BJ: It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.
  • [Rouge falls down by BJ, then BJ screams]
  • BJ: Ah!
  • Rouge: No, no!
  • BJ: No, help!
  • Rouge: Shh!
  • BJ: Knuckles! Knuckles! Knuckles!
  • Rouge: No, it's okay. It's okay.
  • BJ: What did you do with Rouge?
  • Rouge: BJ, shh! I'm May.
  • BJ: Ah!
  • Rouge: [clip of jumping up and down] It's me, in this body.
  • BJ: Oh, my God! You ate Rouge! Can you hear me?
  • Rouge: BJ!
  • BJ: Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
  • Rouge: No!
  • BJ: Knuckles! Knuckles! Knuckles!
  • Rouge: Shh!
  • BJ: Knuckles!
  • Rouge: This is me.
  • BJ: Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
  • Rouge: I'm ugly, okay?
  • BJ: Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Knuckles those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now...
  • Rouge: No. I... I've been this way as long as I can remember.
  • BJ: What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
  • Rouge: It only happens when the sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm, until you find true love's first kiss, and then take love's true form."
  • BJ: Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
  • Rouge: It's a spell. [sighs] When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to mary Balthazar Bratt tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. [cries]
  • BJ: All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night, Knuckles' ugly 24-7.
  • Rouge: But BJ, I'm Rouge, and this is not how a trainer is meant to look.
  • BJ: Rouge, how 'bout you marry Bratt?
  • Rouge: I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
  • BJ: But, you know, um, you're kind of a bat, and Knuckles, well, you got a lot of common.
  • Rouge: Knuckles?
  • [cut to Knuckles]
  • Knuckles: Rouge, I... Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and... well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd, uh, uh... [sighs] I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
  • Rouge: I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, BJ. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Knuckles.
  • [Knuckles steps back]
  • Rouge: My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
  • [Knuckles throws the flower away]
  • Rouge: Don't you see, BJ? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell.
  • BJ: You at least gotta tell Knuckles the truth.
  • Rouge: No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
  • BJ: What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
  • Rouge: Promise you won't tell! Promise!
  • BJ: All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. [goes outside] I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
  • [cut to the morning]
  • Rouge: I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him... [runs outside] Knuckles! Knuckles, there's something I want... [looks at the sun, transforming back into Sam Sparks]
  • Sam Sparks: Knuckles. Are you all right?
  • Knuckles: [clip of attacking Bowling Spin] Perfect! Never been better.
  • Sam Sparks: I... I don't. There's something I have to tell you.
  • Knuckles: You don't have to tell me anything, Sam Sparks. I heard enough last night.
  • Sam Sparks: You know what I said?
  • Knuckles: Every word.
  • Sam Sparks: I thought you'd understand.
  • Knuckles: Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"
  • Sam Sparks: But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
  • Knuckles: Yeah? Well, it does.
  • [Sam Sparks looks at Knuckles, then they look at Bratt and the gang]
  • Knuckles: Ah, right on time. Sam Sparks, I brought you a little something.
  • [Balthazar Bratt and the gang march by Knuckles and Sam Sparks]
  • BJ: What'd I miss? What'd I miss? [spots Bratt and the gang] Who said that? Couldn't have been BJ.
  • 'Bratt: Sam Sparks.
  • Knuckles: As promised. Now hand it over.
  • Bratt: Very well, echidna. [holds out a paper] The deed to the swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind.
  • [Brock takes the paper]
  • Bratt: Forgive me, Sam Sparks, for startling you, but you startled, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Balthazar Bratt.
  • Sam Sparks: Balthazar Bratt? Oh, no, no. Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... [watches Bratt lifted by hs horse] ...farewell.
  • Bratt: Oh, that is sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the echidna. It's not like it has feelings.
  • Sam Sparks: No, you're right. It doesn't.
  • Bratt: Sam Sparks, beautiful, fair, flawless, Sam. I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
  • Sam Sparks: Balthazar Bratt, I accept. Nothing would make...
  • Bratt: Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
  • Sam Sparks: No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets?
  • Bratt: Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests!
  • [the guard puts Sam on the horse]
  • Sam Sparks: Fare-thee-well, echidna.
  • [they head to Chemical Plant]
  • BJ: Knuckles, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.
  • Knuckles: Yeah? So what?
  • BJ: Knuckles, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night. She's...
  • Knuckles: I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] Knuckles, I... I wanna go with you.
  • Knuckles: I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking dinosaurs!
  • BJ: But I thought...
  • Knuckles: Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong!
  • BJ: Knuckles.
  • [the music begins "Hallelujah" by John Cale playing, then Knuckles walks down, then BJ walks down, then he looks at the mirror pieces, then cut to Sam Sparks, getting ready for the wedding, then Knuckles cleans up the house, then throwing the flower away, then cut to to Sam Sparks, putting a veil around, then then Vector and Bratt look at James, then James gives a thumbs up then Sam Sparks looks at the cake, then putting Bratt down, then Knuckles looking at the fireplace, then cut to BJ, looking at Groudon crying, then cut to Knuckles eating snack, along with Sam Sparks, then cut to Knuckles finishing eating snack, hearing a thump]
  • Knuckles: BJ? What are you doing?
  • BJ: I would think, of all people, you would a recognize a wall when you see one.
  • Knuckles: Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it.
  • BJ: It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.
  • Knuckles: Oh! Your half. Hmm.
  • BJ: Yes, my half. I helped rescue Sam Sparks. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head.
  • Knuckles: [grabs the tree branch] Back off!
  • BJ: No, you back off!
  • Knuckles: This is my swamp!
  • BJ: Our swamp!
  • Knuckles: Let go, BJ!
  • BJ: You let go!
  • Knuckles: Stubborn stupid!
  • BJ: Smelly echidna!
  • Knuckles: Fine! [drops the branch]
  • BJ: Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
  • Knuckles: Well, I'm through with you.
  • BJ: Uh-huh. You know, with you it's always "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
  • Knuckles: Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
  • BJ: Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!
  • Knuckles: Oh, yeah. You're right, BJ. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! [goes inside]
  • BJ: Ohh, you're so wrapped in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.
  • Knuckles: Go away!
  • BJ: There you are, doing it again just like you did it to Sam Sparks. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
  • Knuckles: Love me? She said I was ugly, hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking.
  • BJ: She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else.
  • Knuckles: [goes outside] She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
  • BJ: Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right?
  • Knuckles: BJ!
  • BJ: No!
  • Knuckles: Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? [sighs] I'm sorry. I guess I am a big, stupid, ugly echidna. Can you forgive me?
  • BJ: Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
  • Knuckles: Right. Friends?
  • BJ: Friends.
  • Knuckles: So, um, what did Sam Sparks say about me?
  • BJ: What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
  • Knuckles: The wedding! We'll never make it in time!
  • BJ: Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have way. [whistles]
  • [Groudon arrives]
  • Knuckles: BJ?
  • BJ: I guess it's just animal magnetism.
  • [they both laugh]
  • Knuckles: Aw, come here you.
  • BJ: All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss. All right, hop on and hold tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seatbelts yet.
  • [they all fly to Chemical Plant, then cut to Chemical Plant, with Sam Sparks ans Bratt getting married]
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: People of Chemical Plant, we gather here today to bear witness the union...
  • Sam Sparks: Um...
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: ...of the new king...
  • Sam Sparks: Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead of the "I do's"?
  • Bratt: Go on.
  • BJ: Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you, I'll whistle. Knuckles, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you?
  • Knuckles: What are you talking about?
  • BJ: There's a line you gotta wait for. The preeacher's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"
  • Knuckles: I don't have time for this!
  • BJ: Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you?
  • Knuckles: Yes.
  • BJ: You wanna hold her?
  • Knuckles: Yes.
  • BJ: Please?
  • Knuckles: Yes!
  • BJ: Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap!
  • Knuckles: All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
  • BJ: We gotta check that out.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: And so, by the power vested in me...
  • Knuckles: What do you see?
  • BJ: The whole town's in there.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: I now prounounce you husband and wife...
  • BJ: They're at the altar.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: ...king and queen.
  • BJ: Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
  • Knuckles: Oh, for the love of Pete!
  • [BJ falls down]
  • Knuckles: [goes inside] I object!
  • Sam Sparks: Knuckles?
  • Bratt: Oh, now does he want?
  • Knuckles: Hi, everyone. Having a good time, are ya? I love Chemical Plant, first of all. Very clean.
  • Sam Sparks: What are you doing here?
  • Knuckles: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding. Sam Sparks! I need to talk to you.
  • Sam Sparks: Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so id you'll excuse me.
  • Knuckles: But you can't marry him.
  • Sam Sparks: And why not?
  • Knuckles: Because... Because he's just marrying you so he can be king.
  • Bratt: Outrageous! Sam Sparks, don't listen to him.
  • Knuckles: He's not your true love.
  • Sam Sparks: And what do you know about true love?
  • Knuckles: Well, I, uh, I mean...
  • Bratt: Oh, this is precious. The echidna has fallen in love with Sam Sparks! Oh, good lord. [laughing]
  • [the man writes "Laugh" on the card, then they laugh]
  • Bratt: An echidna and Rouge!
  • Rouge: Knuckles, is this true?
  • Bratt: Who cares? It's preposterous! Sam Sparks, my love, we're about a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me!
  • Rouge: "By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before. [transforms into Rouge]
  • Knuckles: Well, that explains a lot.
  • Bratt: Ugh! It's disgusting! Greebles! Greebles! I order you to get that out of sight now! Get them! Get them!
  • [the Greebles grab Rouge, then Knuckles fights the Greebles]
  • Rouge: No, no! Knuckles!
  • Bratt: This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See?
  • Rouge: No, let go of me! Knuckles!
  • Knuckles: No!
  • Bratt: Don't just stand there, morons.
  • Knuckles: Get out of my way! Knuckles! Argh!
  • Bratt: I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you!
  • Rouge: No, Knuckles!
  • Bratt: And as for you, my wife...
  • Knuckles: Rouge!
  • Bratt: I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I'm king!
  • [Brock whistles to Groudon]
  • Bratt: I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have...
  • [Groudon appears by Bratt, screaming, with the clip of Gru playing the piano guitar, blowing Bratt away, with his clothes flying off, bumping the chimney, bouncing over, getting trapped in a gum, then Groudon looks at Bratt]
  • Bratt: Curse you, Groudon! [bumps the sign] Curse you!
  • BJ: All right, nobody move. I got Groudon here, and I'm not afraid to use it.
  • [Groudon spits Bratt's jewel out]
  • BJ: Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
  • [they all cheer]
  • BJ: Go ahead, Knuckles.
  • Knuckles: Uh, Rouge?
  • Rouge: Yes, Knuckles?
  • Knuckles: I... I love you.
  • Rouge: Really?
  • Knuckles: Really, really.
  • Rouge: I love you too.
  • [they both kiss, then the man writes "Aww!", then they all ahh, then the hove of magic pulls Rouge away]
  • Rouge: "Until you find true love's kiss and then take love's true form. Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
  • [the windows break, then Rouge lays on the ground, then Groudon punches the Bratt window]
  • Knuckles: Rouge? Rouge. Are you all right?
  • Rouge: Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
  • Knuckles: But you are beautiful.
  • [they both smile]
  • BJ: [clip of jumping up and down] I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
  • [the music begins "I'm a Believer" by Smash Mouth playing, then they kiss, then they applaud, then they walk down, passing by Vector, then they both go in the carriage, then Rouge throws flowers to Groudon, looking at BJ, then they all applaud]
  • Axew: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] God bless us, every one.
  • BJ: Come on, y'all! [singing] The I saw her face! Now I'm a believer! Listen!
  • [they all dance]
  • BJ: [singing] Not a trace! Of doubt in my mind! I'm in love! I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried!
  • [clip of Bulbasaur jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Charmander jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Squirtle jumping in Pokemon Camp]
  • BJ: [singing] Then I saw her face! Now I'm a believer! Hey! Not a trace! Oh, yeah! Of doubt of my mind! One more time! I'm in love! I'm a believer!
  • [clip of Axew with the ball bouncing on the head]
  • BJ: [singing] Come on! I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe!
  • [clip of Treecko jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Torchic jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Mudkip jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Axew with the ball bouncing on the head]
  • BJ: Y'all, sing it with me! [singing] I believe! I believe! People in the back! I believe!
  • [cut to Knuckles and Rouge going down]
  • BJ: [singing] I believe! I believe! I believe!
  • [last lines]
  • BJ: [laughing] Oh, that's funny. Oh, oh.
  • [cut to black]
  • BJ: I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
  • [end credits]
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