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  • [Disney logo, Pixar logo, and DreamWorks logo]
  • [first lines, we zoom into the book]
  • Brock: [as narrator] "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchanted upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible Pokemon named Rayquaza. Many brave Boggans had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in Rayquaza's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for true love and true love's first kiss." [tears a book page, laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of...
  • [the music begins "All-Star" playing, then Brock gets out, looking at the house, then the title card appears, then the cast, then clip of green, yellow and black crayons dancing, going after Brock, then Brock throws fire at the fireplace, then they light the torches, then Brock looks at the CGI Crayons, then they walk down, then Brock runs down]
  • Orange CGI Crayon: Think it's in there?
  • Yellow CGI Crayon: [clip of jumping on a pogo stick] All right, let's get it!
  • Orange CGI Crayon: Whoa! Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you?
  • Green CGI Crayon: [clip of dancing with the yellow and black crayons] Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
  • Brock: Yes. Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, trainers, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshley peeled skin.
  • Blue CGI Crayon: No!
  • Brock: They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
  • Blue CGI Crayon: [clip of running to the crayon box, jumping up, flipping around, waving the torch at Brock] Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
  • [Brock licks his fingers, extinguishing the torch like a match, rinsing the fire, then they shrink]
  • Blue CGI Crayon: Right.
  • [Brock roars at the crayons, then clip of laying down, screaming, then Brock continues roaring, then clip of the CGI Crayons laying down, then they all stop screaming]
  • Brock: [whispering] This is the part where you run away.
  • [the crayons do so, then they scarper off]
  • Brock: [laughing] And stay out! [picks up a paper, saying "WANTED: FAIRYTALE CREATURES REWARD", reading it] "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." [sighs, throwing the paper away to the ground]
  • [cut to the guards]
  • Greeble 1: All right, this one's full! Take him away!
  • [clip of Dog joing Duck, then they jump up and down, then joing Sheep]
  • Greeble 2: Move it along. Come on. Get up!
  • Clayton: Next!
  • Skinner: [takes the broom] Give me that! [breaks the broom in half] Your flying days are over.
  • Clayton: That's 20 pieces of silver for Queen Elinor. Next!
  • Greeble 3: Get up!
  • Clayton: 20 pieces.
  • Greeble 3: Come on!
  • [clip of Petrie looking around]
  • Greeble 4: Sit down there! Keep quiet!
  • [clip of Grandpa walking to Littlefoot]
  • Littlefoot: This cage is too small.
  • Petrie: Please don't turn me in. Me never be stubborn again. Me can change! Please! Give me another chance!
  • Gladys: Oh, shut up.
  • Petrie: Oh!
  • Clayton: Next! What have you got?
  • Fred: This little wooden puppet.
  • Max: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. [grows his nose]
  • Clayton: Five shillings for the possesed toy. Take him away.
  • [the Boggans take Max away]
  • Max: Father, please! Don't let him do this!
  • Clayton: Next!
  • Max: Help me!
  • Clayton: What have you got?
  • Gladys: Well, I've got a talking pteranodon.
  • Clayton: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
  • Gladys: Oh, go ahead, little fella.
  • Clayton: Well?
  • Gladys: Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt!
  • Clayton: That's it. I've heard enough. Greebles!
  • Gladys: No, no, he talks! He does. [moves Petrie's lips] I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
  • Clayton: [to Gladys, annoyed] Get her out of my sight.
  • [the Boggans take Gladys away]
  • Gladys: No, no! I swear! [kicks the cage] He can talk!
  • [the cage hits Petrie]
  • Petrie: [clip of singing the line of "He imaginary!"] Hey, me can fly!
  • Sam: He can fly!
  • All: He can fly!
  • Hacker: He can talk!
  • Petrie: Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now me flying talking pteranodon! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but me bet you ain't never seen a pteranodon fly! Ha, ha!
  • [the pixie dust wears off Donkey]
  • Petrie: Uh-oh. [falls to the ground]
  • Clayton: [to Petrie] Seize him!
  • [Petrie runs away]
  • Greeble 5: After him! He's getting away!
  • [Petrie runs into Brock]
  • Greeble 6: Get him! This way! Turn!
  • [they run down]
  • Clayton: You there! Trainer!
  • Brock: Aye?
  • Clayton: By the order of Vector, I am authorized to place you bother under arrest and transport you to a designated facility.
  • Brock: Oh, really? You and what army?
  • [they look at the stuff laying down, then Clayton runs away, then they walk down]
  • Petrie: Can me say something to you? Listen, you really, really, really something back there. Incredible!
  • Brock: Are you talkin' to... [looks around] ...me? [turns around] Whoa!
  • Petrie: Yes, me talking to you. Can me tell you that you great back there? Those guards! They thought they all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
  • Brock: Oh, that's great. Really.
  • Petrie: Man, it good to be free.
  • Brock: Now why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends, hmm?
  • Petrie: But, uh, me don't have any friends, and me not going out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! Me got a great idea! Me stick with you. You a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit of anybody that crosses us.
  • [Brock roars at Petrie]
  • Petrie: Oh, wow! That scary. If me don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job donem 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...
  • [Brock covers Petrie's mouth]
  • Petrie: ...then me ate some rottenberries. Man, me had some strong gases leaking out of my butt that day.
  • Brock: [to Petrie] Why are you following me?
  • Petrie: Me tell you why. [singing] Cause me all alone, there no one here beside me! My problems have all gone, there no one here to deride me! But you gotta have friends!
  • Brock: Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
  • Petrie: Wow. Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
  • Brock: Listen, little pteranodon. Take a look at me. What am I?
  • Petrie: [looks at Brock] Uh, really tall?
  • Brock: No! I'm a trainer. You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you?
  • Petrie: Nope.
  • Brock: Really?
  • Petrie: Really, really.
  • Brock: Oh.
  • Petrie: Man, me like you. What's your name?
  • Brock: Uh, Brock.
  • Petrie: Brock? Well, you know that me like about you, Brock? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me-thing. I like that. I respect that, Brock. You all right.
  • [they both look at the house]
  • Petrie: Whoa! Look at that! Who'd want to live in a place like that?
  • Brock: That would be my home.
  • Petrie: [clip of jumping on the ground] Oh, and it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are a quite decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. [sees the boulder] Me like that boulder. That a nice boulder. [following Brock] Me guess you don't entertain much, do you?
  • Brock: I like my privacy.
  • Petrie: You know, me do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like me hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence, you know. [silence] Can me stay with you?
  • Brock: Uh, what?
  • Petrie: Can me stay with you, please?
  • Brock: Of course!
  • Petrie: Really?
  • Brock: No.
  • Petrie: Please! Me don't wanna go back there! Me don't know what it like to be considered a freak! [looks at Brock] Well, maybe you do. But that why we gotta stick together. Me gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
  • Brock: Okay! Okay! [opens the door] But one night only.
  • Petrie: Ah, thank you! [goes inside the house]
  • Brock: What are you...? No, no!
  • Petrie: [jumps on a chair] This gonna be fun! Me can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, me making waffles.
  • [Brock growls]
  • Petrie: Where do me sleep?
  • Brock: [getting irritated] Outside!
  • Petrie: Oh, well, me guess that cool. Me mean, me don't know, and me don't know me, so me guess outside the best, you know. Here me go. Good night.
  • [Brock slams the door, then Petrie sighs]
  • Petrie: Me mean, me do like outdoors, me a pteranodon. Me born outside. Me be just sitting by myself outside, me guess, you know. By myself, you know. [singing] Me all alone, there's no one here beside me.
  • [cut to Brock sitting by the table, eating dinner, taking a candle out of the earwax, lighting it, the Petrie lays down, then Brock hears a noise]
  • Brock: I thought I told you to stay outside.
  • Petrie: Me outside.
  • [Brock hears another noise, then seeing the shadow moving]
  • Bulbasaur: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?
  • Charmander: [clipo of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] It's not home, but it'll do just fine.
  • Squirtle: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Camp] What a lovely bed.
  • Brock: Got ya. [grabs Mudkip]
  • Squirtle: I found some cheese. [bites Brock]
  • Brock: Ow!
  • Squirtle: Blah! Awful stuff.
  • Treecko: Is that you, Squirtle?
  • Squirtle: How did you know?
  • Brock: [grabs Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle] Enough! What are you doing in my house?
  • [the PBS Kids characters push Elastigirl by Brock]
  • Brock: Hey! [looks at the PBS Kids characters] Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
  • Super Why!: [clip of jumping up and down] Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
  • [Brock looks at Wince]
  • Wince: [clip of jumping up and down] What?
  • Brock: I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying trainer! What do I have to do to get a little privacy? [throws Wince away] Oh, no. Oh, no. No! No!
  • [the witches pass by Brock]
  • Kate: Quit it.
  • Ducky: Don't push.
  • [clip of the CGI pink ball bouncing to CGI Clown, playing a flute, then Littlefoot cries]
  • Brock: What are you doing in my swamp? [echoing] Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
  • [they all gasp, then clip of Agnes, Margo and Edith running away by the moon]
  • Margo: Oh, dear!
  • Digit: Whoa!
  • Brock: All right, get out of here! All of you, move it! Come on, let's go! Hapaya, hapaya! Hey!
  • Matt: Quickly. Come on!
  • [the PBS Kids run into the house]
  • Brock: No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. [runs to the house]
  • Petrie: Hey, look at me, me didn't invite them.
  • Max: Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
  • Brock: What?
  • Max: We were forced to come here.
  • Brock: By who?
  • Mudkip: Vector. He huffed and he puffed and he signed an eviction notice.
  • Brock: [sighs] All right. Who knows where this Vector guy is?
  • [they all look around]
  • Petrie: Oh, me do! Me know where he is!
  • Brock: Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
  • Petrie: Me! Me!
  • Brock: Anyone!
  • Petrie: Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, me know! Me know! Me! Me!
  • Brock: Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Vector right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from!
  • [they all cheer]
  • Brock: Oh! [to Petrie] You! You're coming with me.
  • Petrie: [clip of singing the line of "Sky water, wash it away! Me make new nest right here, me stay!"] All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Brock and Petrie, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! On the road again! Sing it with me, Brock. Me can't wait to get on the road again!
  • Brock: What did I say about singing?
  • Petrie: Can me whistle?
  • Brock: No.
  • Petrie: Can me hum it?
  • Brock: All right, hum it.
  • [Petrie hums "On the Road Again", then cut to the kitchen, withe Vector walking in, then Bruce dumps some milk, then Vector walks down, stopping, then Vector walks in the kitchen]
  • Vector: That's enough. He's ready to talk.
  • [Pikachu coughs, putting on a table]
  • Vector: [laughing, clearing throat, then the table moves down] Run, run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Pikachu man!
  • Pikachu: [clip of jumping up and down] You're a monster.
  • Vector: I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of the fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me. Where are the others?
  • Pikachu: [clip with the ball bouncing on the head] Eat me! [spits at Vector]
  • Vector: I tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll...
  • Pikachu: No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
  • Vector: All right, then. Who's hiding them?
  • Elmo: [clip with the ball rolling on the tail and bouncing on the head] Okay, I'll tell you. [reciting the Nursery Rhyme] Do you know the muffin man?
  • Vector: The muffin man?
  • Pikachu: The muffin man.
  • Vector: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
  • Pikachu: Well, she's married to the muffin man.
  • Vector: The muffin man?
  • Pikachu: [screaming] The muffin man!
  • Vector: She's married to the muffin man.
  • Clayton: My lord! We found it.
  • Vector: Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in!
  • [they all bring Sinbad, then Pikachu watches Sinbad appear]
  • Vector: Sinbad...
  • Pikachu: Don't tell him anything! [clip of falling in the water] No! [whimpering]
  • Vector: Evening. Pirate, pirate, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of all?
  • Sinbad: Well, technically, you're not a king.
  • Vector: Uh, Bruce.
  • [Bruce smashes with the mirror]
  • Vector: You were saying?
  • Sinbad: What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
  • Vector: Go on.
  • Sinbad: So just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes hot sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cera! [shows a picture of Cera] Bachelorette number two is a superhero girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Elastigirl! [shows a picture of Elastigirl] And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Lady Marina! [shows the picture of Marina] So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?
  • All: Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!
  • Vector: Three? One? Three?
  • Bruce: Three! Pick number three, my lord!
  • Vector: Okay, okay, uh, number three!
  • Sinbad: Vector, you've chosen Marina.
  • [the music begins "Escape" playing]
  • Vector: Marina. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...
  • Sinbad: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
  • Vector: I'll do it.
  • Sinbad: Yes, but after sunset...
  • Vector: Silence! I will make this Marina my queen, and the Talking Words Factory will finally have the perfect king! Hacker, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
  • [cut to the Talking Words Factory entrance]
  • Petrie: But that it. That it right there. That Talking Words Factory. Me told ya me find it.
  • Brock: So, that must be Vector's castle.
  • Petrie: Uh-huh. That the place.
  • Brock: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? [laughing]
  • Petrie: Hey, wait. Wait up, Brock.
  • Man: Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
  • Brock: [to Fire Breath] Hey, you!
  • [Fire Breath screams, with the clip of Tails fighting the boss]
  • Brock: Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat ya. I just... I just...
  • [Fire Breath continues running away, with the clip of Knuckles defeating Fire Breath, hitting the wall, then they look at Fire Breath being destroyed, then Brock goes inside, along with Petrie, then they go inside, then Brock sighs, then they look at the Talking Words Factory]
  • Brock: It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?
  • Petrie: [clip of jumping up and down on the ground] Hey, look at this! [pulls the lever]
  • Clockwork Chorus: [singing] Welcome to the Talking Words Factory, it's a perfect town! Here we have some rules, let us lay them down! Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine! The Talking Words Factory is a perfect place! Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your face! The Talking Words Factory is... The Talking Words Factory is... The Talking Words Factory is a perfect place!
  • [the camera takes Brock and Petrie's picture, saying "WELCOME TO DULOC"]
  • Petrie: Wow! Let do that again!
  • Brock: [grabs Petrie, holding him] No! No! No, no, no! No!
  • [they hear a fanfare]
  • Vector: [off screen] Brave knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove himself...
  • [they both go in Sticky Ick-O-Rama]
  • Brock: All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
  • Petrie: Sorry about that.
  • Vector: That champion shall have the honor, no, no, the privelege to go forth and rescue Marina from the firey keep of Rayquaza. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
  • [they all cheer]
  • Vector: Let the tournament begin! Oh! [looks at Brock] Oh, what is that? It's hideous!
  • Brock: Oh, that's not very nice. It's just Petrie.
  • Vector: Indeed. Greebles, new plan! The one who kills the trainer will be named champion! Have at him!
  • Men: Get him!
  • [the Greebles walk to Brock]
  • Brock: Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. [bumps into a table]
  • Woman: Go ahead! Get him!
  • Brock: Can't we just settle this over a pint?
  • Man: Kill the beast!
  • Brock: No? All right then. [drinks beer] Come on!
  • [the music begins "Bad Reputation" by Halfcocked playing, knocking the Greebles, then Quacker knocks the Greebles into the mud]
  • Greeble: Damn!
  • [Brock slides past, picking up a spear, then Brock starts to fight, then Petrie hops on the barrels, breaking free, rolling down, hitting the Greebles]
  • Petrie: [clip of jumping on the ground] Hey, Brock, tag me! Tag me!
  • [Brock comes over, banging a head, then getting on the ropes]
  • Brock: Ah! [laughing] Yeah! [knocks the Greeble]
  • Colette: The chair! Give him the chair!
  • [Brock smashes his chair, knocking the Greebles, then Petrie kicks the Greeble, hitting the head]
  • Brock: Oh, yeah! [flexing his muscles] Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here until Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! [laughing]
  • [they all aim at Brock and Petrie]
  • Randall: Shall I give the order, sir?
  • Vector: No, I have a better idea. People of the Talking Words Factory, I give you our champion!
  • Brock: What?
  • Vector: Congratulations, trainer. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest.
  • Brock: Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
  • Vector: Your swamp?
  • Brock: Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures!
  • Vector: Indeed. All right, trainer. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
  • Brock: Exactly the way it was?
  • Vector: Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
  • Brock: And the squatters?
  • Vector: As good as gone.
  • Brock: What kind of quest?
  • [cut to the flower patch]
  • Petrie: Let me get this straight. You gonna go fight Rayquaza and rescue a princess just so Vector will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
  • Brock: You know, maybe there's a good reason pteranodons shouldn't talk.
  • Petrie: Me don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that trainer stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make his bread, the whole trainer trip.
  • Brock: Oh, I know that. Maybe I could have deplicated an entire village, and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, vut open their spleen and drink fluids. Does that sound good to you?
  • Petrie: Uh, no, not really, no.
  • Brock: For your information, there's a lot more to trainers than people think.
  • Petrie: Example?
  • Brock: Example? Okay, um, trainers are like onions.
  • Petrie: [sniffs] They stink?
  • Brock: Yes. No!
  • Petrie: Or they make you cry?
  • Brock: No!
  • Petrie: Oh, me leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
  • Brock: No! Layers! Onions have layers, trainers have layers!
  • Petrie: Oh, me both have layers. Oh. [sniffs the onion] You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
  • Brock: I don't care what everyone likes. Trainers are not like cakes.
  • Petrie: Me know what everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Hey, let get some parfait." Parfaits are delicious.
  • Brock: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Trainers are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See you later.
  • Petrie: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing in the whole damn planet.
  • Brock: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
  • Petrie: Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.
  • [the music begins "I'm On My Way" by The Proclaimers playing, then they walk down, then they walk under the moon, the Brock touches the fire, burning his foot, then Petrie presses to get Brock's fire out, then they go to the Grim Wreaker]
  • Petrie: Ohh, Brock! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything.
  • Brock: Believe me, Petrie, if it was me, you'd be dead. [sniffing] It's brimstone. We must be getting close.
  • Petrie: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. Me know that I smell. Me didn't come off no stone either.
  • [they look at the castle]
  • Brock: Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. [laughing]
  • Petrie: Uh, Brock? Uh, remember when you said trainers have layers?
  • Brock: Oh, aye.
  • Petrie: Well, me have a bit of a confession to make. Pteranodons don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
  • Brock: Wait a second. Pteranodons don't have sleeves.
  • Petrie: Me know what I mean.
  • Brock: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
  • Petrie: No, me just uncomfortable about on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
  • Brock: Come on, Petrie. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support, we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.
  • Petrie: Really?
  • Brock: Really, really.
  • Petrie: Oh, that make me feel so much better.
  • Brock: Just keep moving and don't look down.
  • Petrie: Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. [steps on a ledge, falling in the lava] Brock, me looking down! Ah! Oh, God, me can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!
  • Brock: But you're already halfway.
  • Petrie: Yeah, but me know that half safe!
  • Brock: Okay, fine, I don't have time for this. You go back.
  • Petrie: Brock, no! Wait!
  • Brock: Just, Petrie... Come on. Let's have a dance then, shall we?
  • Petrie: Don't do that!
  • Brock: Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? [bounces up and down]
  • Petrie: Yes, that!
  • Brock: Yes? Yes, do it? [continues bouncing]
  • Petrie: No, Brock! No! Stop it!
  • Brock: You said do it. I'm doing it.
  • Petrie: Me gonna die. Me gonna die. Brock, me gonna die. [steps on a ground] Oh!
  • Brock: That'll do, Petrie. That'll do. [walks inside]
  • Petrie: Cool. So where the fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
  • Brock: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
  • Petrie: Me talking about Rayquaza, Brock.
  • [cut inside]
  • Petrie: You afraid?
  • Brock: No, but, shh.
  • Petrie: Oh, good. Me neither. [walks down] 'Cause there nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With Rayquaza that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared, you know what I mean? I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
  • Brock: Petrie, two things, okay? Shut up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
  • Petrie: Stairs? Me thought we looking for Marina.
  • Brock: The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
  • Petrie: What makes you think she'll be there?
  • Brock: I read it in a book once. [puts his helmet on]
  • Petrie: Cool. You handle Rayquaza, me handle the stairs. Me find those stairs. Me find those stairs. Me whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. [goes inside] Me gonna take darastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. Me the stair master. Me mastered the stairs. Me wish had a step right here. Me step all over it.
  • Brock: Well, at least we know where Marina is, but where's the...
  • Petrie: RAYQUAZA! [runs away]
  • [Brock looks at Petrie running away by Rayquaza, breathing fire out]
  • Brock: Petrie, look out! [ducks the fire away]
  • [Petrie ducks under the fire]
  • Brock: [grabs Rayquaza's tail] Gotcha!
  • [Petrie runs away, then Brock swings around, landing by Marina, then Rayquaza attacks by Petrie, looking at Rayquaza]
  • Petrie: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh! Oh, what large teeth you have.
  • [Rayquaza roars by Petrie]
  • Petrie: Me mean... Me mean, white sparkling teeth. Me know you probably hear all the time of your time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dazzling smile you got there. And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're... You're a boy Rayquaza! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a boy Rayquaza. You're just reeking a feminine beauty. What's that matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, me really love to stay, but you know, me, uh, me athsmatic, and me don't know if it work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. Brock!
  • [Rayquaza carries Petrie]
  • Petrie: No! Brock! Brock! Brock!
  • [cut to Spider-Man, getting up]
  • Spider-Man: [shakes Marina, waking up] Wake up!
  • Marina: What?
  • Spider-Man: Are you lady Marina?
  • Marina: I am, awaiting a superhero so bold as to rescue me.
  • Spider-Man: Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
  • Marina: But wait, Spider-Man. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment.
  • Spider-Man: Yeah. Sorry, lady. There's no time.
  • Marina: Hey, wait. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
  • Spider-Man: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
  • Marina: Mm-hmm.
  • [they break out the door, then they run down]
  • Marina: But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
  • Spider-Man: I don't think so.
  • Marina: Can I least know the name of my champion?
  • Spider-Man: Um, Spider-Man.
  • Marina: Sir Spider-Man. [takes a handkerchief] I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
  • Spider-Man: Thanks!
  • [they hear Rayquaza roaring]
  • Marina: You didn't slay Rayquaza?!
  • Spider-Man: It's on my to-do list. Now come on! [grabs Marina]
  • Marina: But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other Greebles did.
  • Spider-Man: Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
  • Marina: That's not the point. Oh! [heads to the door] Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there.
  • Spider-Man: Well, I have to save my ass.
  • Marina: What kind of superhero are you?
  • Spider-Man: One of a kind. [goes inside]
  • Petrie: Slow down. Slow down, baby. Please. Me believe it healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned, you know. [laughing] Me don't want to rush into a physical relationship. Me not emotionally rady for a commitment of, uh, this... Uh... Magnitude really the word me looking for. Hey, that unwanted physical contact Hey, what are you doing?
  • [Rayquaza blows fire out]
  • Petrie: Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or maybe even his pen pals. Because I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards, and... Me really love to stay, but... Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You gonna tear it off. Me don't gove permission to... Wait. What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
  • [Spider-Man grabs a chain, connecting the the chandelier swinging down toward Rayquaza, missing him, swinging back, then looking up, then Spider-Man pulls the chain, then releasing and falling down, then Rayquaza kisses Spider-Man, then Spider-Man releases the chain, then the chandelier falls on Rayquaza, then they run upstairs, then Rayquaza blows fire out, then they jump down, grabbing Marina]
  • Petrie: Hi, Marina!
  • Marina: It talks!
  • Spider-Man: [clip of jumping up and down in Disney Infinity] Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
  • Petrie: Spider-Man!
  • [they all slide down, then Spider-Man bumps the ledge, then Rayquaza charges at the gang, running through the posts, then they all look at Rayquaza, then Spider-Man puts Marina and Petrie down]
  • Spider-Man: Okay, you two, head for the exit! [grabs a sword] I'll take care of Rayquaza. [puts the sword down] RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
  • [they all run away by Rayquaza, then the bridge breaks completely, then Spider-Man grabs Petrie, looking at Rayquaza, then the sword breaks, then Marina screams, then Rayquaza stops, then they all look at Rayquaza, then they all climb up, then Rayquaza roars, then roaring again, whimpering]
  • Marina: [slides down] You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. You're wonderful. You're... [looks at Spider-Man falling down] ...a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
  • [Petrie clears throat]
  • Marina: And where would a brave superhero be without his noble steed?
  • Petrie: Me hope you heard that. She called me a steed.
  • Marina: The battle is won. You may remove your Spider-Man disguise, Spider-Man.
  • Spider-Man: Uh, no.
  • Marina: Why, not?
  • Spider-Man: I have helmet hair.
  • Marina: Please, I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
  • Spider-Man: No, no, you wouldn't, 'st.
  • Marina: But how will you kiss me?
  • Spider-Man: What? That wasn't in the job description.
  • Petrie: [clip of singing the line of "He imaginary!"] Maybe it perk.
  • Marina: No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A lady locked in a tower and beset by Rayquaza is rescued by Spider-Man, and then they share true love's kiss.
  • Petrie: Hmm. With Brock? You think Brock your true love?
  • Marina: Well, yes.
  • [they both laugh]
  • Petrie: You think Brock your true love!
  • Marina: What is so funny?
  • Spider-Man: Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?
  • Marina: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now... Now remove the Spider-Man disguise.
  • Spider-Man: Look, I really don't think this is a good idea.
  • Marina: Just take off the Spider-Man disguise.
  • Spider-Man: I'm not going to.
  • Marina: Take it off!
  • Spider-Man: No!
  • Marina: NOW!
  • Spider-Man: Okay. Easy. As you command, Your Highness. [takes the Spider-Man disguise off, revealing Brock]
  • Marina: You... You're a... a trainer.
  • Brock: Oh, you were expecting James.
  • Marina: Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be a trainer.
  • Brock: Marina, I was sent to rescue you by Vector, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you.
  • Marina: Then why didn't he come rescue me?
  • Brock: Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
  • Marina: But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some trainer and his... his pet.
  • Petrie: Well, so much for a noble steed.
  • Brock: You're not making my job any easier.
  • Marina: I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Vector that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here.
  • Brock: Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. [picks Marina up]
  • Marina: You wouldn't dare. Agh!
  • Brock: Ya coming, Petrie?
  • Petrie: Me right behind ya.
  • Marina: Agh! Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! Agh!
  • Petrie: Okay, so here another question. Say there woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down so easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?
  • Marina: You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when you find your...
  • [Brock drops Marina down]
  • Marina: Hey! The sooner we get to the Talking Words Factory the better.
  • Petrie: You gonna love it there, Marina! It beautiful!
  • Marina: And what of my groom-to-be? Vector? What's he like?
  • Brock: Let me put it this way, Marina. Men of Vector's stature are in short supply.
  • [they both laugh, then Brock washes his face]
  • Petrie: Me don't know. There are those who think little of him.
  • [they both laugh again]
  • Marina: Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to great ruler like Vector.
  • Brock: Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Marina. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
  • Marina: Tomorrow?! It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
  • Brock: No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
  • Marina: But there's robbers in the woods.
  • Petrie: Whoa! Time out, Brock! Camp starting to sound good.
  • Brock: Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest.
  • Marina: I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!
  • [cut to the mountain]
  • Brock: Hey! Over here.
  • Petrie: Brock, we can do better than that. Me don't think this fit for Marina.
  • Marina: No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
  • Brock: Homey touches? Like what? [hears a crashing noise]
  • Marina: A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. [goes inside]
  • Petrie: You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
  • Marina: I said, good night!
  • [Brock looks at Petrie]
  • Petrie: Brock, what you doing?
  • Brock: I just... You know... Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
  • [cut to night]
  • Brock: And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only trainer to ever spit over three wheat fields.
  • Petrie: Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
  • Brock: The stars don't tell the future, Petrie. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
  • Petrie: Me know you making this up.
  • Brock: No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running from his stench.
  • Petrie: That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.
  • Brock: You know, Petrie, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it.
  • Petrie: [sighs] Hey, Brock, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
  • Brock: Our swamp?
  • Petrie: You know, when we're through rescuing Marina.
  • Brock: We? Petrie, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
  • Petrie: You cut me deep, Brock. You cut me real deep just now. You know what me think? Me think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.
  • Brock: No, do ya think?
  • Petrie: Are you hiding something?
  • Brock: Never mind, Petrie.
  • Petrie: Oh, that another one of those onion things, isn't it?
  • Brock: No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
  • Petrie: Why don't you want to talk about it?
  • Brock: Why do you want to talk about it?
  • Petrie: Why you blocking?
  • Brock: I'm not blocking!
  • Petrie: Oh, yes, you are.
  • Brock: Petrie, I'm warning you.
  • Petrie: Why you trying to keep me out?
  • Brock: Everyone! Okay?
  • Petrie: Oh, now, we're getting somewhere.
  • [May looks at Brock and Petrie]
  • Brock: Oh, for the love of Pete! [gets up, walking down]
  • Petrie: [clip of dancing to "Imaginary Friend"] What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
  • Brock: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly trainer!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
  • Petrie: You know what? When we met, me didn't think you was a big, stupid, ugly trainer.
  • Brock: Yeah, I know.
  • Petrie: So, uh, how many pteranodons up there?
  • Brock: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
  • Petrie: Okay, okay, me see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
  • Brock: That's the moon.
  • Petrie: Oh, okay.
  • [we zoom into the bedroom]
  • Vector: Again, show me again. [rewinds the picture] Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me Marina.
  • Sinbad: Hmph. [reveals Marina]
  • Vector: Ah, perfect.
  • [cut to Marina, walking down, singing to Big Icedus, then singing to the Big Icedus, then singing to the Big Icedus again, then singing loudly, then clip of Knuckles defeating the Big Icedus, looking at the Big Icedus exploding, then the eggs transition into the egg yolks]
  • Petrie: Mmm, yeah, you know me like it that. Come on, baby. Me said me like it.
  • Brock: Petrie, wake up.
  • Petrie: Huh? What?
  • Brock: Wake up.
  • Petrie: What? [stretching and yawning]
  • Marina: Good morning. Hmm, how'd you like your eggs?
  • Petrie: Oh, good morning, Marina!
  • [Marina gets up]
  • Brock: What's this all about?
  • Marina: You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. After all, you did rescue me.
  • Brock: Uh, thanks.
  • [Petrie sniffs the eggs]
  • Marina: Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
  • [they all walk in the forest, then Brock belches]
  • Petrie: Brock!
  • Brock: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. [laughing]
  • Petrie: Well, it's no way to behave in front of Marina.
  • Marina: [burps] Thanks.
  • Petrie: She's as nasty as you are.
  • Brock: You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
  • [Marina walks down, singing]
  • Butch: La liberte! [grabs Marina] Hey!
  • Brock: Marina!
  • Marina: [to Butch] What are you doing?
  • Butch: Be still, mon cherie, for I am your savior! And I am rescuing from this green... [kisses Marina] ...beast.
  • Brock: Hey, that's Marina! Go find your own!
  • Butch: Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
  • Marina: Look, pal, I don't think who you are!
  • Butch: Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself. Oh, Pokemon characters!
  • [the Pokemon characters join in]
  • All: Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo!
  • Butch: I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
  • All: He takes a wee percentage!
  • Butch: But I'm not greedy! I rescue pretty damsels, man, I'm good.
  • All: What a guy, Butch.
  • Butch: Break it down.
  • [they all dance]
  • Butch: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid...
  • All: What he's basically saying is he likes to get...
  • Butch: Paid. So, when a trainer in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. That's bad.
  • All: That's bad.
  • Butch: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad.
  • All: He's mad, he's really, really mad.
  • Butch: I'll take my blade and ram it through the heart, keep your eyes on me, boys, 'cause I'm about to start!
  • Marina: [hits Butch] Man, that was annoying!
  • Machop: [clip of jumping up and down in Pokemon Go] Oh, you little... [aims at them]
  • [the arrow flies by the gang, then Marina punches some Pokemon, then more Pokemon, then jumping in a pause, then kicking the Pokemon, then Marina runs around, then punching more Pokemon]
  • Marina: Uh, shall we?
  • Brock: Hold the phone. [drops Petrie, walking to Marina] Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
  • Marina: What?
  • Brock: That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
  • Marina: Well... [laughing] ...when one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a... [points an arrow] There's an arrow in your butt!
  • Brock: [looks at an arrow] What? Oh, would you look at that? [tries to get his arrow out]
  • Marina: Oh, no, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
  • Petrie: Why? What wrong?
  • Marina: Brock's hurt.
  • Petrie: Brock hurt. Brock hurt? Oh, no, Brock gonna die.
  • Brock: Petrie, I'm okay.
  • Petrie: You can't do this to me, Brock. Me too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the heimlich?
  • Marina: Petrie! Calm down. If you want to help Brock, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.
  • Petrie: Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, me on it. Don't die Brock. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
  • Both: Petrie!
  • Petrie: Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. [runs off]
  • Brock: What are the flowers for?
  • Marina: For getting rid of Petrie.
  • Brock: Ah.
  • Marina: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. [gives the arrow a pull]
  • Brock: Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
  • [they continue to get the arrow out]
  • Marina: I'm sorry, but this has to come out.
  • Brock: No, it's tender.
  • Marina: Now hold on.
  • Brock: What you're doing is the opposite of help.
  • Marina: Don't move.
  • Brock: Look, time out.
  • Marina: Would you... [grunting] Okay. What do you propose to do?
  • [cut to Petrie, looking for flowers]
  • Petrie: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so musch easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns!
  • Brock: Ow!
  • Petrie: Hold on, Brock! Me coming!
  • Brock: Ow! Not good.
  • Marina: Okay, Okay, I can nearly see the head.
  • [Brock grunts]
  • Marina: It's just about...
  • Brock: Ow! Ohh!
  • [Petrie clears throat]
  • Brock: Nothing happened. We were just, uh...
  • Petrie: Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
  • Brock: Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The lady here was just...
  • [Marina takes the arrow out]
  • Brock: Ugh! [looks at Marina holding an arrow] Ow!
  • Petrie: Hey, what's that? [nervous chuckle] Is... Is that blood? [lays down, sighing]
  • [the music begins "My Beloved Monster" by Eels playing, then they walk down, then they walk on a tree, then Marina walks on the tree, releasing Petrie, flying away, then they walk down, then Marina makes the web to catch the flies to make into cotton candy, then Brock eats it, then Brock grabs a frog, making a balloon, then Marina grabs a snake, making a balloon, then they walk down, then Petrie runs down]
  • Marina: Hey!
  • [the balloons fly up, then they look at Duloc]
  • Brock: There it is, Marina. Your future awaits.
  • Marina: That's the Talking Words Factory?
  • Petrie: Yeah, me know. You know, Brock thinks Vector's compensating for something, which me think he has a really...
  • [Brock steps on Petrie]
  • Petrie: Ow!
  • Brock: Um, I, uh, I guess we better move on.
  • Marina: Sure. But, Brock? I'm... I'm worried about Petrie.
  • Brock: What?
  • Marina: I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good.
  • Petrie: What you talking about? Me fine.
  • Marina: [kneels to the eyes] That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. [pause] Dead.
  • Brock: You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
  • Marina: Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
  • Petrie: Me didn't want to say nothin', but me got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn this head like this, look. [turns his head] Ow! See?
  • Brock: Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
  • Marina: I'll get the firewood.
  • Petrie: Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, me can't feel my toes! [looks down] Me don't have any toes! Me think me need a hug.
  • [cut to the campfire]
  • Marina: Mmm, this is good. This is really good. What is this?
  • Brock: Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style.
  • Marina: No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
  • Brock: Well, they're also in great stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew.
  • Marina: [looks at the Talking Words Factory] I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
  • Brock: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye entrance, you name it.
  • Marina: I'd like that.
  • [they both smile]
  • Brock: Um, Marina?
  • Marina: Yes, Brock?
  • Brock: I, um, I was wondering, are you... Are you gonna eat that?
  • Petrie: Man, isn't that romantic? Just look at that sunset.
  • Marina: [jumps up] Sunset?! Oh, no. I mean, it's late. It's very late.
  • Brock: What?
  • Petrie: Wait a minute. Me see what going on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
  • Marina: Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. I'd better go inside.
  • Brock: Don't feel bad, Marina. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until... Hey, no, wait, I'm still afraid of the dark. [sighs]
  • Marina: Good night.
  • Brock: Good night.
  • [Marina goes inside, changing into May]
  • Petrie: Ohh! Now me see what's going on here.
  • Brock: Oh, what are you talkin' about?
  • Petrie: Me don't even wanna hear it. Look, me a pteranodon, and me got instincts. And me know you two were diggin' on each other. Me could feel it.
  • Brock: You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Vector.
  • Petrie: Oh, come on, Brock. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel.
  • Brock: I... There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know, and I'm not saying I do because I don't, she's Marina, and I'm...
  • Petrie: A trainer?
  • Brock: Yeah. A trainer.
  • Petrie: Hey, where you goin'?
  • Brock: To get more firewood.
  • Petrie: May? May? May, where are you? May?
  • [May looks at Petrie]
  • Petrie: It very spooky in here. Me ain't playing no games.
  • [May falls down, getting up, then Petrie screams]
  • Petrie: Ah!
  • May: No, no!
  • Petrie: No, help!
  • May: Shh!
  • Petrie: Brock! Brock! Brock!
  • May: No, it's okay. It's okay.
  • Petrie: What you do with May?
  • May: Petrie, shh! I'm May.
  • Petrie: Ah!
  • May: It's me, in this body.
  • Petrie: Oh, my God! You ate May! Can you hear me?
  • May: Petrie!
  • Petrie: Listen, keep breathing! Me get you out of there!
  • May: No!
  • Petrie: Brock! Brock! Brock!
  • May: Shh!
  • Petrie: Brock!
  • May: This is me.
  • Petrie: May, what happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
  • May: I'm ugly, okay?
  • Petrie: Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? Cause I told Brock those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now...
  • May: No, I... I've been this way as long as I can remember.
  • Petrie: What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
  • May: It only happens when the sun goes down. "By night one way, by one day another. This shall be the norm, until you find true love's first kiss, and then take love's true form."
  • Petrie: Ah, that beautiful. Me didn't know you wrote poetry.
  • May: It's a spell. [sighs] When I was a little girl, a little witch cast a spell on me. Every night, I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Vector tomorrow before the sun sets and sees me like this.
  • Petrie: All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, me ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Brock's ugly 24-7.
  • May: But Petrie, I'm May, and this is not how a lady is meant to look.
  • Petrie: May, how 'bout if you don't marry Vector?
  • May: I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
  • Petrie: [clip of singing the line of "Sky water, wash it away! Me make new nest right here, me stay!"] But you know, um, you're kind of a trainer, and Brock, well, you got a lot of common.
  • May: Brock?
  • [cut to Brock]
  • Brock: Marina, I... Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and... Well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd, uh, uh... [sighs] I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
  • May: [off screen] I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Petrie. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly. "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Brock. My only chance to live happily ever after is to mary my true love.
  • [cut inside]
  • May: Don't you see, Petrie? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell.
  • Petrie: You at least gotta tell Brock the truth.
  • May: No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
  • Petrie: What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep a secrets?
  • May: Promise you won't tell. Promise!
  • Petrie: All right, all right. Me won't tell him. But you should. [goes outside] Me just know before this is over, me gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
  • [May walks outside, then looking at the flower, then Petrie sleeps]
  • May: [picking the petals off of a sunflower] I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. [runs outside] Brock! Brock, there's something I want... [looks at the sun, turning back into Marina]
  • [Brock walks down]
  • Marina: Brock, are you all right?
  • Brock: Perfect! Never been better.
  • Marina: I... I don't... There's something I have to tell you.
  • Brock: You don't have to tell me anything, Marina. I heard enough last night.
  • Marina: You heard what I said?
  • Brock: Every word.
  • Marina: I thought you'd understand.
  • Brock: Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"
  • Marina: But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
  • Brock: Yeah? Well, it does.
  • [Marina looks at Brock, then he looks at Vector and the gang walking down]
  • Brock: Ah, right on time. Marina, I've brought you a little something.
  • Petrie: What'd I miss? What'd I miss? [looks at the soldiers] Who said that? Couldn't have been Petrie.
  • Vector: Marina.
  • Brock: As promised. Now hand it over.
  • Vector: Very well, trainer. [holds out a paper] The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind.
  • [Brock takes the paper]
  • Vector: Forgive me, Marina, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Vector.
  • Marina: Vector? Oh, no, no.
  • [Vector snaps his fingers]
  • Marina: Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... [watches as Vector lifts off his horse and set down after her] ...farewell.
  • Vector: Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the trainer. It's not like it has feelings.
  • Marina: No, you're right. It doesn't.
  • [Petrie watches his exchange in his face]
  • Vector: Marina, beautiful, fair, flawless, Marina. I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
  • Marina: Vector, I accept. Nothing would make...
  • Vector: [interrupting] Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
  • Marina: No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets.
  • Vector: Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the carterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests!
  • [the guard puts Marina on the back of her horse]
  • Marina: Fare-thee-well, trainer.
  • [they all head to the Talking Words Factory]
  • Petrie: Brock, what you doing? You're letting her get away.
  • Brock: Yeah? So what?
  • Petrie: Brock, there something about her you don't know. Look, me talked to her last night. She's...
  • Brock: I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
  • Petrie: [clip of singing the line of "Sky water, wash it away! Me make new nest right here, me stay!"] Brock, me... Me wanna go with you.
  • Brock: I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking pteranodons!
  • Petrie: But me thought...
  • Brock: Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong! [walks away]
  • Petrie: Brock.
  • [the music begins "Hallelujah" by John Cale playing, then Brock looks at his house, then Petrie walks down, then Brock looks at the mirror pieces, then cut to Marina, getting ready for the wedding, then cut back to Brock, looking at the flower, then throwing the flower away, then Marina puts her veil around, then Vector and Sinbad, then Vector gives Bruce a thumbs up, then cut to Marina and Vector on the cake, then Marina puts Vector down, then Brock looks at the fireplace, then cut to Petrie, looking at Rayquaza crying, then Brock cleaning and eating snack, along with Marina, then cut back to Brock, eating snack]
  • Brock: [hears a thump] Petrie! [looks at Petrie] What are you doing?
  • Petrie: Me would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall, when you see one.
  • Brock: Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it.
  • Petrie: It around your half. See that your half, and this my half.
  • Brock: Oh! Your half, hmm.
  • Petrie: Yes, my half. Me helpled rescue Marina. Me did half the work. Me get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head.
  • Brock: [grabs the tree branch] Back off!
  • Petrie: No, you back off!
  • Brock: This is my swamp!
  • Petrie: Our swamp!
  • Brock: Let go, Petrie!
  • Petrie: You let go!
  • Brock: Stubborn stupid!
  • Petrie: Smelly trainer!
  • Brock: Fine! [drops the tree branch, walking away]
  • Petrie: Hey, hey, come back here. Me not through with you yet.
  • Brock: Well, I'm through with you.
  • Petrie: Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! SO you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that me do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
  • Brock: Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
  • Petrie: Because that what friends do! They forgive each other!
  • Brock: Oh, yeah, I forgive you, for stabbin' me in the back! [goes inside]
  • Petrie: Oh, you're so wrapped in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.
  • Brock: Go away!
  • Petrie: There you are, doing it again just like you did to Marina. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
  • Brock: Love me? She said I was ugly, hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking.
  • Petrie: She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else.
  • Brock: [goes outside] She wasn't talkin' about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
  • Petrie: Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't want to listen to me. Right? Right?
  • Brock: Petrie!
  • Petrie: No!
  • Brock: Okay, look. I'm sorry, right? [sighs] I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly trainer. Can you forgive me?
  • Petrie: Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
  • Brock: Right. Friends?
  • Petrie: Friends.
  • Brock: So, um, what did Marina say about me?
  • Petrie: What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
  • Brock: The wedding! We'll never make it in time!
  • Petrie: [clip of jumping up and down on the ground] Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, there a will, there a way and me have a way. [whistling]
  • [Rayquaza arrives]
  • Brock: Petrie?
  • Petrie: Me guess it's just my animal magnetisim.
  • [they both laugh]
  • Brock: Aw, come here you.
  • Petrie: All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss. All right, hop on and hold tight. Me haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet.
  • [they both go on Rayquaza, then they go to the Talking Words Factory, then cut to the Talking Words Factory, then Marina and Vector are getting married]
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: People of the Talking Words Factory, we gather here today to bear witness the union...
  • Marina: Um...
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: ...of our new king...
  • Marina: Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead of the "I do's"?
  • Vector: Go on.
  • [the guards look at Rayquaza landing on the ground]
  • Petrie: [to Rayquaza] Go ahead, go have some fun. If we need you, me whistle. How about that? Brock, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you?
  • Brock: What are you talking about?
  • Petrie: There a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That when you say "Me object!"
  • Brock: I don't have time for this!
  • Petrie: Hey, wait. What you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you?
  • Brock: Yes.
  • Petrie: You wanna hold her?
  • Brock: Yes!
  • Petrie: Please?
  • Brock: Yes!
  • Petrie: Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap.
  • Brock: All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
  • Petrie: We gotta check it out.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: And so, by the power vested in me...
  • Brock: What do you see?
  • Petrie: The whole town's in there.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: ...I now prounounce you husband and wife...
  • Petrie: They at the altar.
  • Vicar of Wellsworth: ...king and queen.
  • Petrie: Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
  • Brock: Oh, for the love of Pete!
  • [Petrie falls to the ground]
  • Brock: [goes inside] I object!
  • Marina: Brock?
  • Vector: Oh, now what does he want?
  • Brock: [to congregation] Hi, everyone. Having a good time, are ya? I love the Talking Words Factory, first of all. Very clean.
  • Marina: What are you doing here?
  • Brock: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up an uninvited wedding... Marina! I need to talk to you.
  • Marina: Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me...
  • Brock: But you can't marry him.
  • Marina: And why not?
  • Brock: Because... Because he's just marrying you so he can be king.
  • Vector: Outrageous! Marina, don't listen to him.
  • Brock: He's not your true love.
  • Marina: And what do you know about true love?
  • Brock: Well... I... Uh... I mean...
  • Vector: Oh, this is precious. The trainer has fallen in love with Marina! Oh, good lord.
  • [the card says "Laugh", then they all laugh, with the clip of Littlefoot, Cera, Spike, Ducky, and Petrie laughing after "Imaginary Friend"]
  • Vector: A trainer and Marina!
  • Marina: Brock, is this true?
  • Vector: Who cares? It's preposterous! Marina, my love, we're about a kiss away from "happily ever after." Now kiss me! [kisses Marina]
  • May: [looks at the sun] "By night one way, by day another." [to Brock] I wanted to show you before. [transforms into May]
  • Brock: Well, that explains a lot.
  • Vector: Ugh! It's disgusting! Greebles! Greebles! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
  • [the Greebles run in and seperate May from Brock, then Brock attacks the Greebles]
  • May: No, no! Brock!
  • Vector: This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See?
  • May: No, let go of me! Brock!
  • Brock: No!
  • Vector: Don't just stand there, morons.
  • Brock: Get out of my way! May! Arrgh!
  • Vector: I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you!
  • May: No, Brock!
  • Vector: [holds out a dagger] And as for you, my wife...
  • Brock: May!
  • Vector: I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I'm king!
  • [Brock whistles to Rayquaza]
  • Vector: I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have...
  • [Rayquaza appears by Vector, then Vector screams, then clip of the moon growing back on Vector, with Vector flying up into space]
  • Vector: No!
  • [Brock looks at Vector being defeated, looking at the moon]
  • Vector: [scrubs some stuff off] Oh, poop.
  • Petrie: All right. Nobody move. Me got Rayquaza here, and me not afraid to use it.
  • [Rayquaza roars]
  • Petrie: Me a pteranodon on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
  • [they all cheer]
  • Petrie: Go ahead, Brock.
  • Brock: Uh, May?
  • May: Yes, Brock?
  • Brock: I... I love you.
  • May: Really?
  • Brock: Really, really.
  • May: [smiling] I love you too.
  • [they both kiss, then Bruce writes "Aawww!" on the board, then the magic of spell pulls May away]
  • May: "Until you find true love's kiss, then take love's true form. Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
  • [May's eyes open wide, then the windows break, laying on the ground, then Rayquaza punches the Vector window]
  • Brock: May? May, are you all right?
  • May: Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
  • Brock: But you are beautiful.
  • Petrie: Me hoping for a happy ending.
  • [the music begins "I'm a Believer" by Smash Mouth playing, then they kiss, then they applaud, then they walk down, passing by Sinbad, then they both go in the onion carriage, then May throws flowers to Rayquaza, looking at Petrie, then they all applaud]
  • Pikachu: [clip of the ball rolling on the tail and bouncing on the head] God bless us, every one.
  • Petrie: Come on, y'all! [singing] Then me saw her face! Ha, ha! Now me a believer! Listen!
  • [they all dance]
  • Petrie: [singing] Not a trace! Of doubt of my mind! Me in love! Me a believer, me couldn't leave her if me tried!
  • [clip of Bulbasaur jumping in Pokemon Camp, then Charmander jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Squirtle jumping in Pokemon Camp]
  • Petrie: [singing] Then me saw her face! Now me a believer! Hey! Not a trace! Oh, yeah! Of doubt in my mind! One more time! Me in love! Me a believer!
  • [clip of Pikachu jumping up and down]
  • Petrie: Come on! [singing] Me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe, me believe!
  • [clip of Treecko jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Torchic jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Mudkip jumping in Pokemon Camp, then clip of Pikachu with the ball bouncing on the head]
  • Petrie: Y'all, sing it with me! [singing] Me believe! Me believe! People in the back! Me believe!
  • [cut to Brock and May going down]
  • Petrie: [singing] Me believe! Me believe! Me believe!
  • [last lines]
  • Petrie: [laughing] Oh, that funny. Oh, oh.
  • [cut to black]
  • Petrie: Me can't breathe. Me can't breathe.
  • [end credits]
  • [Disney logo, Pixar logo, and DreamWorks logo]
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