South Park Bigger, Longer, & Uncut F Word


 * Kids: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka! You're a boner-biting bastard, Uncle Fucka! You're an Uncle Fuck!
 * ''[they hear a doorbell]
 * Sergeant Monty: Okay, children. Let's take our seats. We have a lot to learn today. We sure do, Mr. Hat. Okay, children, let's start the day with a few math problems. [writes the problem on the board] What is five times two? Come on, children, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. Yes, Eddy?
 * Eddy: 12?
 * Sergeant Monty: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.
 * Victoria: I think I know the answer, Sergeant Monty.
 * Valiant: Muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh.
 * Victoria: Shut up, fat boy!
 * Valiant: Ey! Don't call me fat, you fuckin' jew!
 * Sergeant Monty: Valiant! Did you just say the F word?
 * Valiant: Jew?
 * Victoria: No, he's talking about "fuck." You can't say "fuck" in school, you fuckin' fatass.
 * Sergeant Monty: Victoria!
 * Valiant: Why the fuck not?
 * Sergeant Monty: Valiant!
 * Valiant: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
 * Sergeant Monty: Stanley!
 * ''[Barmaid fucks]
 * Sergeant Monty: Barmaid!
 * Valiant: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody.
 * ''[cut to the bird]
 * Sergeant Monty: How would you like to go see the school counselor?!
 * Valiant: How would you like to suck my balls?
 * ''[they all gasp]
 * Sergeant Monty: What did you say?!
 * Valiant: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was: [picks up a bullhorn] "How would you like to suck my balls, Sergeant Monty?"
 * Bugsy: Holy shit, dude!
 * ''[cut to Olivia's office]